ForgetIT

Female

I was molested when I was 9 by someone of the same sex, and of the same age. It throws people off when I share this. They think "it must of been harmless, just two kids experiementing." It wasn't. I remember begging with tears down my face asking her not to make me. She said if I didn't, then she would tell my parents that I was the one to ask her to do it. I was kind of a weird kid with no friends, I knew, or thought I knew, that everyone would believe her lies over me. So she made me do things to her, as I wept the whole time. I thought after that I could just avoid her and never have her over again, without her knowing I was avoiding her. But at softball games, cheerleading practice or football games, she'd be there. Walking up to me with my mom at her side "Your mom said I could stay the night." Without even talking to me she would get permission but if I outright denied her, she would threaten to tell on me. She said that she would tell my parents what I did, and that they wouldn't love me because I was dirty. Now as an adult I wonder who had made her the way she was. She molested me for a year. I never stopped crying, I never stopped avoiding her. I remember after school, my mom was picking me up and I saw her walking to my mom, but I was closer and so I hurried to her and whispered to my mom "She's going to ask if she can stay the night, please please say no." So she did, on the car ride home she asked me why, and I just said she was too bossy. My moms words broke my heart next, "Good, she always made you cry everytime she came over." She still to this day has no idea what happened. I was molested all that year in 2nd grade.

When I was 13 my friend (a newer friend) had one of her friends and I over for a sleep over. I fell asleep first. I woke to my shirt pulled up. I had already developed breasts. They where both touching me, both girls, and I closed my eyes back. Too afraid to let them know I woke up, but they must have senced it because the girl whispered to my friend ," I think she's awake..." So they stopped at first, never having pulled my shirt back down, and I could tell from the red under my eye lids that the light was on. I hoped that would be the end of it. I pretended to be asleep, rolled on my side and covered my chest with my arm. I was afraid that if I acknowledged the situation, they too would shame me for it. This way, if I'm unconcious, to them, I am not at fault so they could never black mail me. It was quiet, my breathing went back to normal, I thought it was over and I guess they thought I fell back to sleep because all of a sudden I was pushed back and someone else had started to pull down my shorts. I reflexively crossed my legs and bent my knees. Refusing to open my eyes or my legs. They knew for sure I was awake now, but I couldn't move. So I laid there like that as they faught with my shorts. Eventually they caved and left me be. I waited until they where a sleep then I snuck out and walked home. When I got home I realized my shirt was sparkley and greasy. I lifted my shirt and saw my chest and stomach was cover in sticky glitter lotion. They had litterally lathered me up with this crap, and it never came out of my favorite shirt. I had to throw it away.

When I was 18 I worked at a nursing home. I was a virgin still, never had a boyfriend or girlfriend. I never had many friends. I carried out only two good friendships throught high school. Anyway, as a house keeper at a nursing home I had a hall to myself to go door to door and clean. There was this Native American man who worked in the kitchen. He saw me before I saw him because I would be alone in a room and he would be there. He worked in the kitchen but he would leave it to go find me working. At one of these "visits" I found out his name was Chuck and he was 29. He seemed very delighted to find out I was only 18. When he would show up, I barely would say two words too him. I kept it breif and never asked him questions. I was trying to be polite without giving him the wrong idea. He never seemed to notice my lack of interest in him or about himself. One day I was cleaning in the dinning hall and I had a dime size hole in my favorite jeans (Fridays where casual day), I had no idea about the whole but he deliberatly pressed his whole body into me and whispered in my ear, "You have a hole in the butt of your pants-" was all I heard because I was freaking out over his close proximaty. I bolted from the dinning hall and went straight to the bathroom and saw the hole. Feeling even more uncomfortable with this guy. Two days past without an issue because he was off, but I was working all that week, on my last day before my days off, he was back at work. I was cleaning a room, no residents present. He showed up out of no where and cornered me in the room when I tried to get away, he pressed his whole body up against me and started whispering in my ear how much the hole in my pants had turned him on. I didn't push at him but I just closed my eyes, shook my head over and over and the only words that could come out of my mouth where, "no no no no no no-" I was thinking 'Just say no, as long as you say no' because to be honest I had no idea what to say. He was scary. Had a massive tattoo on his chest that read "DEATH." It was the weekend so nun of the supervisors where there that day, and I was off the next two days. So at lunch that day I told my male coworker "Hey, just incase things get worse I need to tell something. But I don't want to tell the sups just yet. So me telling you is like my insurance policy." I told him everything, but he blabbed on my days off cuz my female supervisor who worked along side me. First day back she asked me what was going on. She wasn't told the details but she knew he was bothering me. I clambed up and she tried to get me to talk for 20 minutes but I just started crying, saying I couldn't. So she dragged me to the laundry room and told me to wait there. She came back with the Kitchen Supervisor who was a man. And he looked me straight in the eyes and without asking, ordered me to tell him what was going on. I kept looking into this mans deep blue eyes hoping he'd let it got but he was obviously not going to use kid gloves with me so I told them everything, every nasty thing his employee said to me, right down to him pressing himself up against me. The kitchen super then informed me the guy had a history of sexual harrassment. With that and the fact that this perv was always dropped off by family or rode a bike led me to believe he was a sex offender who just got out of the pin. They didn't do a report, or fire him for the harrassment. The kitchen super said "Well we really need him tomorrow so I can't fire him right yet.." He came back later apologizing, "Screw it, I'm firing him first thing tomorrow when he's comes back to work, I will work in his place if I have to." He was fired for abandoning his post too often only moments after walking through the door. He did do that, abandon his post but he had been abandoning his post to go bother me. The next three months he would still show up in a room I'd be cleaning. Once he even showed up in the single toilet bathroom I was in. I later found out after his 8th visit up there, they finally told him they where going to call the police if he tresspassed again. I never saw him again.

When I was 20 there was this guy I was put on a blind date with. He was bigger than me, we already escalated to making out in the movies and in his car. In the car, he unzipped his pants as I was kissing him and he grabbed my face and tried to force me to give him oral I said "no!" but he kept pulling my hair and head to his croch. I jerked away, and said "no!" He apologized and we went back to making out, but he did it again but this time I had to say no 6 times and he pulled some of my hair out and left marks on the back of my neck. He gave up and drove me back to my car. We continued dating. I always felt disgusted about it but I wasn't that experienced and thought maybe he was just too excited and in the moment. We stopped dating months later, never did escalate to BoyFriendGirlFriend. I guess I couldn't let him get close.


At 23, I was using this online dating site. I had met my ex on the site. It seems harmless enough. Even saw people I knew on there. I'm from a small town, all these locals that popped up, I figured they where just as dangerous as meeting someone at a club or bar but that shouldn't stop me from meeting people. I talked to this guy. He seemed nice. He and I talked about movies, and food. And agreed all we wanted to do was hang out and if it turned into something more so be it. Well the first time he came over he refused to watch the movie and I tried to ignore him gentally touching me. I realized he wasn't there for the movie and thought "what the hell," and so we started to fool around. We where about to go all the way when he stopped, just hovering over me when he said, "You have to put it in so you can't say I made you." I was confused as to why he would make me do it, the reason just seemed so bizarre. I did it and we had sex.

August 12, 2013
Almost two weeks after hooking up he came over again. Same issues accured, I put a movie in, he refused to watch it and I tried to ignore his advances. This time I told myself we would only fool around, no sex, ESPECIALLY if he tries to without a condom but we started making out. I stayed dressed, but he jerked my pants off (I hadn't worn underwear in several years), and he put it in. I said, "Stop, I don't want to do this. Stop." But he kept quiet and continued to thrust ,ignoring me. I started pushing on his chest, I kept saying "no" to him as I pushed. During my attempt to get his attention, pushing against him, I thought how disgusting he felt on top of me, I became repulsed by his chest hair as my palms continued to push at him. He then said "Shut up, I'm already in, I'm going to finish." I went quiet then and laid there for a moment not sure I could feel my body anymore. He got up and nelt on the floor. He apologized and said he had never done that before. I curled up in a ball on the couch and told him it was okay, I said I was really tired and wanted to sleep. Without out waiting for him to leave I stayed in the ball on the couch and closed my eyes. I stayed like that for the next 30 or so minutes and realized he was not leaving. He just stood over me and watched. Then when I pretended to wake up, he told me "You have no idea how much I wanted to touch you while you slept, any longer and I would have started." I asked in what I meant to sound angry but came off timid, "Did you not finish?" He answered "No I hadn't came yet." I realized that's what he was waiting for, he was either going to wait until I decided to have sex with him, or he was going to rape me. Either way he was finishing. I sat up and said, "okay." then he without hesitation climbed back ontop of me and came inside of me.

Survivor