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ladybug2

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Posts posted by ladybug2

    The Inner Child Thread

    in Public: Pretty Good Year

    Posted · Edited by ladybug2

    spend time with her...

    I watched children, first other peoples, then my own. They are innocent. so was i. a fact, even if i dont always feel it, it has to be true. so, then i deserve love, just like other children. I read about doing inner child re-parenting - visualizing myself holding my child-self (pictures helped at first) in my arms, and saying the nurturing things i wanted to hear, needed to hear, or, i think in the beggining, i just said what any other reasonable adult might have said, what i might say, to a child who has been hurt: I love you. it is not your fault. you are safe. i will take care of you. even if i didnt feel it i said it. and i was honest. i would say, "i dont feel much, but you are safe", etc. with practice, the compassion for myself came. mindful meditation helps. as does right hand left hand writting. (ask a question with your dominant hand, in writting. write a response with non dominant. ) i have used this alot to ask questions - like what do you need, how can i help - of my inner child. sounds corney, hokey, all that, i know. but it works.

    The Inner Child Thread

    in Public: Pretty Good Year

    Posted

    Dear little me,

    i hear how angry you are, and i want you to know it is ok. you have every right to be furious, angry beyond your words, as i know you are. i feel it. i hear it. i know how hard it must be to feel so mad at dad. to love him and hate him at the same time. i know that is hard and it is so brave of you to say it, to feel it, to scream it if you have to. when you speak, i can almost feel you stomping your feet, in pure rage, becuase you dont know what else to do with all that anger. keep saying it. keep getting it out. you dont have to live with it anymore. you deserve better. you are safe now, little one. i believe you. i am listening to you. and holding you as you move through the pain.

    i love you little one.

    love,

    me.

    The Inner Child Thread

    in Public: Pretty Good Year

    Posted

    my inner child is feeling alone, ashamed and guilty and just really really bad.

    my precious child, you are not alone. i am always here. your feelings, your anger, your rage, your sadness and grief, your love, your pleasure, it is all ok. they are just feelings. they will come and go. they are not who you are. you are beautiful and innocent. what dad did is not your fault. not your fault. even when it felt good, it was not your fault. even when you looked forward to him, it was not your fault. His guilt, his shame, not yours.

    you deserve to be loved and cared for. not used and abused. i am sorry you are so confused.

    i love you. always. you are safe with me. feel whatever you need to feel, and be safe with me.

    with loving respect and affection,

    me.

    The Inner Child Thread

    in Public: Pretty Good Year

    Posted

    dear little me,

    you were so brave today, and i am so proud of you. today we won. silent no more. believed.

    i am wrapping my warm and loving arms around you in a huge hug that will last the night as we sleep. in the morning i will hold your hand as we walk through the day. never alone again. i promise.

    love,

    me.

    Loving Our Bodies, Loving Ourselves

    in Public: Pretty Good Year

    Posted

    oh god how i struggle with this, especially the last few years. time and 2 children and way too many potato chips and choclate bars have not been kind to me.

    ~i actually try NOT to look at myself naked. I have weighed over 250lbs, and even with some weight loss, it aint pretty. neither are scars. that is reality. i can accept it, but i dont have to look at it.

    ~swimming - always leaves me feeling good. any water actually - shower, tub, hot tub. naked always feels better. love to skinny-dip (or more like chunky-dunk!)

    ~scent, especially sandlewood. use lotion or perfume oil, always feels nice

    ~clothes that fit well, especially black.

    ~boots with a heal, like motorbike boots. like to feel like i could kick some ass.

    ~A well fitting bra

    ~black underwear

    ~rest- the more tired i am the worse i seem to feel about me.

    The Inner Child Thread

    in Public: Pretty Good Year

    Posted

    my inner child feels very very sad today. lost. lonely. feelings of loss. wanting to just hide away from the world, no need to put on a happy face for anyone. she is crying buckets of silent tears.

    dear little one, i am sorry you are feeling so sad and lonely. I know why. i know it is hard. i know what you have lost. you are not alone, precious one. i am here with you. arms wrapped around you, holding you in my heart, we are one. you not alone with your pain. let your tears fall, and i will sit here with you, keeping you safe and warm, as you let your heart speak its truth. hearing you. holding you. here with you.

    The Inner Child Thread

    in Public: Pretty Good Year

    Posted

    my inner child is my best ally, i am learning. when i give her what she needs, she trusts me and lets me do the work we need to do. speak our truth. feel our feelings. her needs are simple. acknowledgement of her existance within me. to be held (visulize adult me holding little me), to be told she is loved, lovable and that being hurt, being damaged is not her fault. she also needs to play. THAT i am not very good at. need to work on it. before last T i went to a beach (looking for sand to hold my incence) and ended up 'treasure hunting' for sea glass. it was such fun, and the child inside delighted. i need more of her in my life. i am way to serious and practical. been that way as long as i can remember. used to be why i loved to drink. i could let go of serious and practical for a short while.

    Saying Hello

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    welcome nate. i dont know if this is what mandy meant, but in the forum Psychological well being there is a pinned topic (at the top) called "List to help us when we are triggered...", and some of the things people write are specifically grounding techniques.

    some grounding techniques i use to help me thru flashbacks are :

    using 5 senses - list (out loud) 5 things i see, 5 things i hear, 5 things i touch, etc. here in the now.

    recite the time and date aloud.

    put both feet on the floor, if they are not.

    drink (water, coffee, pop)

    breath slowly in and out, and focus on it.

    i am sorry you are struggling.

    take gentle care. safe hug if ok :hug:

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