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ladybug2

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    Female
  • Interests
    hiking<br />photography<br />energy work

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    Survivor

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  1. I went out for lunch, to restaurant i cannot afford. but it has the best food and service ever. i always feel like a queen when i am there, and even after i leave. problabley not the best thing to do, since i will 'pay' in the end, but god it was great.
  2. my inner child is feeling scared. lonely. scared. lonely. dont know which is worse.
  3. spend time with her... I watched children, first other peoples, then my own. They are innocent. so was i. a fact, even if i dont always feel it, it has to be true. so, then i deserve love, just like other children. I read about doing inner child re-parenting - visualizing myself holding my child-self (pictures helped at first) in my arms, and saying the nurturing things i wanted to hear, needed to hear, or, i think in the beggining, i just said what any other reasonable adult might have said, what i might say, to a child who has been hurt: I love you. it is not your fault. you are safe. i will take care of you. even if i didnt feel it i said it. and i was honest. i would say, "i dont feel much, but you are safe", etc. with practice, the compassion for myself came. mindful meditation helps. as does right hand left hand writting. (ask a question with your dominant hand, in writting. write a response with non dominant. ) i have used this alot to ask questions - like what do you need, how can i help - of my inner child. sounds corney, hokey, all that, i know. but it works.
  4. Dear little me, i hear how angry you are, and i want you to know it is ok. you have every right to be furious, angry beyond your words, as i know you are. i feel it. i hear it. i know how hard it must be to feel so mad at dad. to love him and hate him at the same time. i know that is hard and it is so brave of you to say it, to feel it, to scream it if you have to. when you speak, i can almost feel you stomping your feet, in pure rage, becuase you dont know what else to do with all that anger. keep saying it. keep getting it out. you dont have to live with it anymore. you deserve better. you are safe now, little one. i believe you. i am listening to you. and holding you as you move through the pain. i love you little one. love, me.
  5. my inner child is feeling alone, ashamed and guilty and just really really bad. my precious child, you are not alone. i am always here. your feelings, your anger, your rage, your sadness and grief, your love, your pleasure, it is all ok. they are just feelings. they will come and go. they are not who you are. you are beautiful and innocent. what dad did is not your fault. not your fault. even when it felt good, it was not your fault. even when you looked forward to him, it was not your fault. His guilt, his shame, not yours. you deserve to be loved and cared for. not used and abused. i am sorry you are so confused. i love you. always. you are safe with me. feel whatever you need to feel, and be safe with me. with loving respect and affection, me.
  6. welcome. this is a good site to be heard. you are not alone. take gentle care of you.
  7. hi meghan, i just started one in the well being forum. seemed to fit.
  8. yes, it is hard and scary. i am sorry you have had these expereinces. i am glad you found AS. you arent alone. safe hug if ok
  9. dear little me, you were so brave today, and i am so proud of you. today we won. silent no more. believed. i am wrapping my warm and loving arms around you in a huge hug that will last the night as we sleep. in the morning i will hold your hand as we walk through the day. never alone again. i promise. love, me.
  10. dear little me, i can sense you peaking out from behind me in a tentative and hopeful stance. You are safe. We are ok. we survived. now to live. what do YOU want to do?
  11. oh god how i struggle with this, especially the last few years. time and 2 children and way too many potato chips and choclate bars have not been kind to me. ~i actually try NOT to look at myself naked. I have weighed over 250lbs, and even with some weight loss, it aint pretty. neither are scars. that is reality. i can accept it, but i dont have to look at it. ~swimming - always leaves me feeling good. any water actually - shower, tub, hot tub. naked always feels better. love to skinny-dip (or more like chunky-dunk!) ~scent, especially sandlewood. use lotion or perfume oil, always feels nice ~clothes that fit well, especially black. ~boots with a heal, like motorbike boots. like to feel like i could kick some ass. ~A well fitting bra ~black underwear ~rest- the more tired i am the worse i seem to feel about me.
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