[New here, looking for others with similar experiences]

Hi Sky Lark.  I'm very sorry to hear what you're going through.   You don't deserve to be treated like that.   That is really brave of you & yet traumatic to report sexual harrassment.

I  can relate.  I had never realized what sexual harrassment was at the work place. So, I just always  sucked it up.  But in my last job,  I was growing braver . So, when the married rockstar funny man started targeting me, I would tell him no  & stop & avoided him. I just wasn't assertive enough & so to him, it was a game. the more I told him STOP , & no, leave me alone, the more he'd bug me. Others saw it as his type of sense of humor. so, I thought, I was just overreacting or imaginging his flirting .Embarrassingly I tried to mention it to a manager. But, she didn't take it serious.  said, that's just how he is, Well, it escalated, so I wasn't doubting myself anymore. He'd say dirty things to me & I'd try & mention his kids & wife. some coworkers were starting to see. Their advice was either turn him in , or ignore him & he'll get bored & stop, if I didn't respond. He had started touching me & I'd pull away & say Don't touch me! And he'd wait for me to be physically in positions were  I could'nt defend myself & try to grope me , then pretend he was just going to punch me. (like that was any better?!) . The last straw, he was singing to me & started arguing with me that we belong together. Even if it was just a joke, I was horrified. So, I tried yet again to tell a manager. I guess, that finally got her attention- married man... I didn't think she took me serious. But, days later , she called me into the office, She told me she"d decided to notify HR , because if he was bothering me, he was probably bothering other female empolyees & they just won't say anything. She claimed only she & the head manager knew the complaint was from me.  But, of course it got bigger & bigger & it was awkward that I kept getting called into the office because HR kept wanting more & more info & details. The managers were very weird around me. The head manager would show up , then tell others to go away so he could talk to me. Then he freaked out when he read the things he'd been telling me.  & told me this was so escalated that they were going to suspend the guy instead of just a warning. & I was instructed that if he should figure out it was me, to not talk to him if he tried to approach me in anyway. I was so sick to my stomach & scared that others would know (very gossipy place) & worried I'd be judged or blamed. I was even next to his dept manger when the guy called in demanding to know why he was being suspended & the manager made a big deal about not being able to disclose everything at that time. I was so scared & sick. I worried about his family & started thinking what if I was just overreacting? Next thing I knew everyone was walking around asking what happened to him & couldn't believe he was gone.  I felt aweful. His manager had to cover his shifts, they were short handed in that dept until a replacement was found.  I just constantly lived in fear that he'd come find me. He was getting worse & more blatant harrassing me right before he was going to be suspended. So, I thought maybe he knew.  I was just a nervous wreck for a long time after. And my co worker had to keep reassuring me, that he did deserve it,  even if he was joking around . Because I repeatedly would tell him to stop & leave me alone  & he never did in all those months. So, it was a very stressful ordeal. I finally calmed down when I realized he wasn't as well liked as I'd thought. Co workers were inconvienced picking up the slack, but nobody missed him. Also, I eventually heard from a manager what had happened. The guy was suposed to sign HR papers for the suspension which stated why he was being suspended. But, he made a big scene , refusing to sign & instead quit. Guess, he didnt want his family to find out, even if it was "a misunderstanding". That way, he could make up any story he wanted..  So, yeah, it really sux & is extremely stressful. You shouldn't have to feel like you're the criminal, when you are the victim. 

[New & looking for support & ideas]

Hi 👋, I’m new. This is a huge step for me. I’ve muddled through most of my life never understanding, minimizing & just being silent about my dysfunctional childhood & certainly never saying anything out loud about all the sexual assaults . But, I can’t hold it in anymore . It reared its ugly head & I became desperate for help dealing. I’m wait listed for therapist . But I’ve decided I can’t sit around waiting. I need to take action if I want to get healing process going. Books I’ve read talked about support groups. So , I wanted to give it a try.