sarka
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Posts posted by sarka
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If she confided in you that is an attempt to reach out. I appreciate that you don't want to push too hard, but take care not to avoid "pushing" so much that you let the issue go. I have a very hard time talking to people in real life in that I am always worried that they don't want to or can't deal with my issues. Even if she doesn't want to open up now, just letting her know that you care enough to have sought out resources to help you support her, and still want to be there to listen, may make her feel really cared for.
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Fair enough. I experienced this type of abuse from my mother and I still feel weird calling it CSA, so I use "sexual harassment" sometimes for it, but I agree it is a sort of weird use of the word.
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In some ways the worst abuse experiences I've had, were this sort of stuff.
Even the people who've actually had contact with me, I feel like the stalking before or snarky comments after were a big part of the whole deal...
I think it would be more recognizable if it were labeled "sexual harassment" or something. There's already a "stalking" thread which encompasses a lot of non-contact sexual abuse, but it's a pretty slow thread, I dunno why.
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I had a sort of a weird experience that I wrote about here. I hope that the site helps you sort things out.
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I'm not tired of you! Please stay, I would worry too much otherwise.
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Some more:
"TW" = trigger warning
"PA" = physical abuse
"EA" = emotional abuse
Sometimes for very emotionally difficult words like "rape" people will "censor" them like "r***" or shorten them like "r'ed." You can usually figure these words out from context.
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Once I finally got up the nerve to tell my ex-stalker's gf that he'd done stuff to me in my sleep. I felt like I needed to at least warn her, or something. And she was like "I don't get it, you're making it sound like he r*ped you." Um YEAH that was on purpose. I can't be too mad at her because she had problems of her own and he'd done some of the same things to her too she hadn't processed yet. But that line still sticks in my head.
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Welcome! I'm seconding Wishy. Also when I was not yet ready to open up, I spent some time reading other people's posts, and my first few posts were just along the lines of "I had an experience like that too!" After a few posts like that I got up the energy to share the full thing.
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Oh, another thought... although I'll never know what happened in my childhood, I have talked to my therapist about a lot of things in my childhood that I probably subconsciously interpreted as sexual even if possibly they weren't, like how my mother kept following me into the bathroom long after I was toilet trained and harassing me to go to the bathroom more often than I wanted to (this behavior is sufficiently weird when I think about it that I don't even know if she perceived this as sexual or not!), and it's my therapist's opinion that those kinds of experiences may have been enough to cause me to have serious issues with sexuality... I have also had friends who experienced child sexual abuse they remembered perfectly well, but didn't involve the adult exposing themselves or touching them in obviously sexual places so it wasn't until adulthood and they started having sexual experiences that they realized those childhood experiences had a sexual component to them. So perhaps keep an open mind about what is at the root of yours.
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I am here mainly for things that happened later in life but I always wonder if I had experiences that I don't remember at a really young age, because I was sexually very messed up already by 3 or so. It's a frustrating feeling not knowing... it may not be possible to ever know for sure.
Cussing In Posts?
in Public: Feedback Dropbox
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yeah I've also noticed that the board automatically puts asterisks in swear words. You can sort of get around it by separating out the letters so the auto-editor won't recognize them.