New Here - Still Struggling After All This Time

[Elenfair]

Hi...

I'm glad to have found this place. It's been a while since things have happened to me - I got good help quickly after things happened. I remained in therapy a while. I thought things were better - and they are, in many ways... I managed to put my life together again, got married, have a loving husband and wounderful dogs with whom I share my life.

And now, after all these years (about 6 of them), it comes back to haunt me. The nightmares are back. The flashbacks are back. I'm having trouble focusing again. I get scared for no reason. The anxiety is tracking me at every step and simply will not leave me alone. I thought I was done. I thought I'd move past it.

So, now I'm realising that there are some things I'd never really integrated fully. Time to roll up the sleeves and get down to where the rubber meets the road. Again. It's discouraging. It's frightening. But I'm feeling the increasig need to talk, to share what happened, and finally be rid of the darkness that hangs above my head.

[Ardatha]

Maybe it is the way the mind works, I don't know, this scenario is a common one among survivors. Considering how marvelous the human brain is and the various ways it tries to protect us from past traumas, it may very well be one of its functions to bring stuff back up later, as if we are stronger then and better equipped to deal with it. Evidently it is tied up in how we process these sorts of issues.

Be that as it may, welcome to the forum. This is a truly caring community and there are some very wonderful people here. I'm sure you will find it quite supportive as you go through your personal quest for healing. I'm sure we will learn much from each other.

Meg

Edited August 17, 2005 by Ardatha

[Donna]

Welcome to AS honey. :hug:

[Elenfair]

Thank you - both of you - for the warm welcome. I hope I can help others, too, through my experience and the things I've learned. I think the sharing is half the healing battle...

I'm glad to be here. Hopefully I'll gather the courage to share my story again. Life's a path that's plagued with uncertainty - this is no different. The upside is finding people who truly do understand and who, while they can't make the journey for you or necessarily point the way, can cheer you on as you go by. I'm grateful for that.

[Survivors sanctuary]

Welcome to AS ..

[Charlene]

welcome to the boards sweetie

~charlene~

[spent]

Just wanted to welcome you and let you know that you are not alone. I have just recently joined the board also because like you it has been a long time since the incidents and i also was in therapy and thought that I had healed but have been going through a really hard time lately. I have bad panic attacks and haven't left the house now in 3 weeks. I am currently seeking therapy and I have found that this board is another form of therapy that I need right now and might always need. I hope you find some comfort here.

Bye for now

Grace

[Ardatha]

Thank you - both of you - for the warm welcome.  I hope I can help others, too, through my experience and the things I've learned.  I think the sharing is half the healing battle...

It is most certainly a major step in the right direction, that's for sure. As long as you're hiding from the experience you cannot heal. Sometimes, though, hiding is all you can do.

I'm glad to be here.  Hopefully I'll gather the courage to share my story again.  Life's a path that's plagued with uncertainty - this is no different.  The upside is finding people who truly do understand and who, while they can't make the journey for you or necessarily point the way, can cheer you on as you go by.  I'm grateful for that.

That's something this forum excells at. We are a great support system, cheering for our victories and coonsoling our backsliding. No pressure, though. You do it at your own pace.

Meg

[SLG]

Welcome to AS Elenfair.

It's nice to meet you!

[Deborah Rose]

Sadly, these traumas do keep coming back up. It seems like we process different parts or in different ways at different times.

Welcome.

[jessica_rose]

elenfair--

I can relate... having a trauma come up again years later is hard & it sucks! i have had PTSD for several years now and I always feel so frustrated when i start to have flashbacks/panic attacks/nightmares yet again. try to remember that all this stuff is happening to teach you something... and someday it really WILL get better. in the meantime, know that lots of people can relate.

what kind of dogs do you have? mine is a black lab mix and he is my best friend!

xoxo

jess

[SnowDragon24]

Welcome to the forum. I am sorry that is under these circumstances you have found yourself here. I am sorry that the past has come back after thinking you had it taken care of. It is amazing how that happens.

[Elenfair]

Thanks everyone...

It IS amazing how these things come back, sometimes a while after things seem to have calmed down. I imagine there are still things I need to process, integrate and deal with before I can continue moving on. While it's... discouraging... I know I've done it before and that, on all accounts, this time around should be slightly easier.

I wish everyone here the best in their recovery... it's odd to be feeling both saddened AND grateful all at once: grateful to have found people who can relate and understand, and saddened because I, too, know what made them gather here in the first place.

Mixed blessings, I suppose.

[jessica_rose]

elenfair,

it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders & a good outlook on all of this, at the very very least... stay strong.

xoxo

[~Catherine~]

welcome to after silence, hun

~Catherine