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I am glad I found this forum and people that know what I am dealing with. It has been four months since I was sexually assaulted by a urologist. At this time I am not sure if I am a survivor or still a victim. After four months of weekly counseling and heavy medication I still feel de-humanized, de-masculated and like a freak.

My wife has been a source of incredible support and as a child rape survivor knows first hand what I am dealing with. As a guy I still cannot confide what happened to any of my male friends. My first counselor dropped me because she was not comfortable dealing with my situation. She "referred" me to a counselor that was 120 miles away. I saw that as being turfed or dumped since there is no way I could make that trip every week.

The regional sexual assault center was no help at all. They gave me only three names of counselors all of which did not want to take me. I am pretty sure I would have got more help if I had the bubonic plaque or leprosy. Eventually I found a local nurse practitioner/counselor that would take me. She has been amazing and most likely saved my life.

I am not sure if I can edit out the gore of my story and have it make any sense. When I can I will post it. It will contain a powerful warning to never completely trust your doctor ever again. I am still dealing with the physical injuries that may be permanent. There is so much more to my story but it is so very similar to many others and all of you could probably fill in the blanks.

The doctor is still practicing and even seeing kids. The State Health Dept. has two investigations going against him but it will be a David vs Goliath challenge all the way. Meanwhile I am getting on with my life and dealing with the best I can. Some days are not as good as others.

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Brent, first of all, welcome to AS.

You have found the right bunch of people here, truly you have.

I hope you find help and support here as I have done, and continue to do. You can post as much as you like whenever you feel ready/safe to do so and that is fine. There is no pressure here at all. It's all about YOUR healing, and we support each other as much as we can. The large community means there is always someone here to send a kind word or a safe hug. Take the time you need to browse the forums and see what we get up to support wise!

I am glad you found us. Welcome!


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:) Welcome to AS.
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Man, I am so sorry you had to go through that. That's terrible that you couldn't find any councelors that were willing to help you. I'm glad you finally found one, that's great! I hope you find healing and peace here. Welcome to the forums!

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welcome to AS brent i hope you feel at home here soon and can post and find healing for the bad things you have been through that brought you here.



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Hi brent welcome to as i too was abused by a doctor i was 17 now 30 and it took me 14 years to get enough courage to report him i am still waiting on the details of that but i welcome you and i am sorry this has happened to you i truly am you may im me time as i have only just been dealing with this for the last few weeks and walok around numb and a little angry that its so hard for you to find help how dare they judge you cause they cant handle it well how is that meant to make you feel you are here a great place to be angry,sad, everyone here has a story it helps to read them and get support hugs if ok :hug:

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Thanks, I really appreciate the kind words and the warm welcome. Having a place were everyone understands the horrible feelings and damage that comes with sexual assault is going to be very helpful.

Right now I need to see that life can and will go on and others that are farther along in the healing process.

Down the road I will do my best at changing how male sexual assault is handled in my area. Right now it's unacceptable and mostly non-existent. The Pierce County Sexual Assault Center is supposedly the national model of what works and the number of people it has helped.

Why they completely dropped the ball with me is very confusing. A close friend of mine is on the board and a major contributor to the program. When she heard my story she was extremely angry and assured me that things are going to change there.

So maybe I at least got the ball rolling in the right direction. I am sure most or all of you know that men are many times more likely to be suicidal or homicidal after sexual assault. Early intervention and help is not only vital for the victim but society in general.

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Hi Brent,

Welcome to After Silence :flowers:

I'm sorry for what you've been through. I am glad you found us though, please make yourself at home.


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My name is Lynn, and I am a member of the New Member Support Team. I just wanted to take the time to say welcome to After Silence.

I am glad that you have joined with us and look forward to getting to know you. If you need anything or have questions about the boards or how something works, please send me a personal message. I will gladly help in any way possible...also if you need someone to listen, let me know.

Take care,

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Hello Brent!

Welcome to this supportive site called "AS". Alot of us can relate to each others feelings/emotions. This is a nice place to begin as your working with your new counselor. Don't give up Brent! Luckily, you also have a loving, understanding, supportive wife at home. That definitely helps!

Take Care Brent & remember, were here when your ready..... :flowers:

A New Friend!

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Thanks to all of you for the great welcome! I already feel very much at home here and quickly realized what a great bunch of people that are hanging out here.

Right now I am dealing the pure anger and revenge stage but not letting it eat me up. I have been seeing the counselor weekly for 3 1/2 months and plan to continue as long as needed. Recently she picked up another male sexual assault patient. We will be having some dual sessions with the three of us which should be very helpful for both of us.

Having a great counselor certainly makes the long process much less bumpier. And those that don't have one here are blessed to have a loving family here that can offer allot of support and advice.

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