New To As

[feona27]

So here i go.. i am new here and unsure exactly what to write here. My therapist wants me join a support group but i have refused thusfar.... I am currently in therapy for being sexually abused as a child. I have come a long way and am unsure of where to go now. I am really discouraged currently and am thinking of giving up my quest to be "healed". I have started telling my story to my therapist and am extremely uncomfortable with what i have told him. I cant even look at him. In session i have him close his eyes so he can't look at me.

I am currently having the most issues with my boyfriend... ive never had a boyfriend before (im 27) and this relationship stuff is all new to me.

He is extremely supportive of me getting help, but isnt as supportive of my need for emotional intimacy but not sexual intimacy. My therapist has given me suggestions to help "desensitize" me (as he calls it) to being sexually intimate with my boyfriend... i dont know if that's too much information. Ugh. i cant even think about it without feeling like crap.

I just feeling really stuck and hurt and ashamed and damaged and broken and not very optimistic of feeling ok anytime soon...

I guess im looking for someone else who's been where i am and wondering how on earth anyone actually "heals" from this...

[seamonkey]

Hi and welcome. I'm new here too, but everyone seems really supportive. Don't give up on your "quest to heal" It takes time and I know setbacks can be really frustrating, but things like posting here and talking to you therapist about it (anyway you can) are positive steps.

[sunflower2]

Hi and welcome to AS. hope you get all the support you need.

kylie

[Kaylee]

and welcome to AS.

Take care,

Kaylee

[rainrider]

If you are not comfortable with what your therapist is trying to have you do to heal, then it is probably time to consider another therapist. I was only comfortable with a female therapist. Therapy is not supposed to be a walk in the park, but it shouldn't push you beyond your fragile boundaries. That's my two cents. i could be wrong. Don't give up on your self or your healing.

[angelic]

Hi and welcome to AS

[GinaT]

Hi, I am new here as well... 15 mins and counting. I completely related to what you said, so know that you are not alone, I am not alone... none of us here are. Not much of a reply but i am getting my bearings here as well. Take care

[lacrymosa]

Hi Feona,

I'm glad you've joined After Silence. I'm sorry for what you've had to endure, but glad you're getting help in therapy. It can be very frustrating when coping with aftermath in a relationship. I can totally relate. You're not alone in this challenge.

I hope you find our community to be supportive and helpful. If you have any questions, or just need to talk, feel free to message me. Take gentle care, and I'll see you around the site.

[oui,mais]

hey!!

welcome to AS!!

if ok??

[leehamiton317]

Feona,

I am a rape and sexual abuse survivor, who sought no counseling afterwards. It has been 18 years since my assault, for awhile I really thought that I had healed and I didn't need any help from anyone. But, when you just pickup and keep living your everyday life that not healing. It changes how you deal with everything, even if you don't get counseling you know that! It's ruined every relationship I have had since that day, because I can't trust anyone. Not just on a sexual level. I became untrusting, defensive, controlling, agressive and that just for starters. I gotten to the point now, where everything has come bubbling over. Now, I finally realize, it's not that I am a loner, I've gt a pretty severe case of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I have no friends and I don't go out of the house much. I used my kids as an excuse for awhile. But, the truth is I need counselling, I need to speak out loud about what happened to me, so we can make sure it doesn't happen to our children or anyone else's daughters or sons!

Counselling, is more important than you realize. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Lee

[kimbees324]

Feona,

I am really sorry for the things that have happened to you but I am glad that you found your way here to AS. There are a lot of amazing people here who will give you the support and encouragement you are looking for. Please take good care of you.

[Ravyncry]

and welcome to AS

[littlelost]

and welcome to AS

[probably]

Hello and welcome to AS

[*buttafly*]

Hello and Welcome Feona

I'm sorry that things are tough right now. Sounds like your T may be wanting you to heal a lot faster than you are able. Healing takes time, just ask around here. I hope you do find support, and good advice here.

[angel123]

and welcome to AS.....hope to see you around

Take care Sharon x