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Guidelines For Supportive Replies


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Dear Members,

It has recently come to our attention that there have been several incidents where members are replying to topics with phrases such as, "That was really triggering," "I'm so freaked out by that," etc.

Remember that our community is one for support. This means that in everything we as individuals do, from how we conduct ourselves in chat to the replies we make to others' posts, we need to be mindful of how others will feel. Telling a member who probably had to work up the courage to post something extremely difficult that in doing so they triggered you isn't supportive, and could potentially discourage that person from speaking out again. So, while triggers are a scary and complicated part of the healing process, the discussion of members triggering each other, especially as responses to a thread asking for support, should be avoided.

Secondly, many of the posts that have received these negative comments were peppered with trigger warning labels. This means that the original poster acknowledged it was triggering and did their best to give everyone else a fair warning. Sometimes, there will be a post that is heavily labeled with trigger labels that you do not find triggering; other times, there will be posts that have no warnings that greatly trigger you. Triggers are subjective, as what triggers one member is not guaranteed to trigger another. Each post at AS has the potential to be VERY triggering, due to the heinous nature of what has brought all of us here. Regardless of how triggering a post, it is each members' own responsibility to keep themselves safe.

Along these same lines, members should only reply to messages they feel comfortable with. As such, members are not allowed to solicit replies to their threads. It's unfair and holds a member who may not be ready to reply emotionally hostage. It can encourage feelings of helplessness and vulnerability, compromising what healing has already taken place. Particularly if the subject matter is not something the poster is ready to deal with. Please do not ask people to reply to your threads--it is very rare that posts go completely ignored, and sometimes it's as simple as being placed in the wrong forum. You can always send a Moderator to PM to see if there isn't a better place for your thread.

We all want to do our best to keep AS a safe, loving community where individuals are comfortable reaching out and sharing the thoughts, feelings and emotions they may not be comfortable expresing anywhere else. As long as we all work together, we can continue to make that happen.

Thank you!


The AS Staff

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