Just joined here

[cuttochoose]

Hi everyone, I am ALI, I just joined this group yesterday.
I'm a 37 year old woman and it took me a really long time to face what was done to me during middle adolescent years and how those experiences shifted my view of sex and relationship.
I dismissed and downplayed my situations many years but I want to find a place where I can talk about it safely and get support or vice versa.
I'm a bit nervous because I never joined a support group before, but I don't want to keep living my past and think about why such experiences happened or what I could have done to avoid them.
I like to draw, watch TV shows, and I'm trying to read more books habitually.
Nice to meet you guys.



 

[patriciag]

8 minutes ago, cuttochoose said:

Hi everyone, I am ALI, I just joined this group yesterday.
I'm a 37 year old woman and it took me a really long time to face what was done to me during middle adolescent years and how those experiences shifted my view of sex and relationship.
I dismissed and downplayed my situations many years but I want to find a place where I can talk about it safely and get support or vice versa.
I'm a bit nervous because I never joined a support group before, but I don't want to keep living my past and think about why such experiences happened or what I could have done to avoid them.
I like to draw, watch TV shows, and I'm trying to read more books habitually.
Nice to meet you guys.



 

Hi ALI, welcome to AS. It is scary to go into something you never did before. I remember when I joined this group and how I felt. 

You will find this a safe place, a place where others understand how you feel.

Patricia 

[cuttochoose]

Hi Patricia,

Thank you for your reply and kind words
I'm glad to know I'm not alone to go through this.

[awi]

@cuttochoose Hi welcome to this safe place.  So glad you found us. Know that you are not alone.  Keeping you company during this part of your journey

[WannaMoveOn]

6 hours ago, cuttochoose said:

Hi everyone, I am ALI, I just joined this group yesterday.
I'm a 37 year old woman and it took me a really long time to face what was done to me during middle adolescent years and how those experiences shifted my view of sex and relationship.
I dismissed and downplayed my situations many years but I want to find a place where I can talk about it safely and get support or vice versa.
I'm a bit nervous because I never joined a support group before, but I don't want to keep living my past and think about why such experiences happened or what I could have done to avoid them.
I like to draw, watch TV shows, and I'm trying to read more books habitually.
Nice to meet you guys.



 

Hello cuttochoose and welcome to AfterSilence! I am Wanna

I completely understand your wish to move forward in life, I mean, just look at my username, right? When we are healing, we need to actively confront our past from time to time. We so often make excuses for the perp or minimize our own experience, often second guessing what actually happened. However, our reactions and suffer is our greatest witness; We would never choose to feel the way we do, or to carry trauma for years to come. When we reclaim our voices and own our stories, the guilt and shame can be directed to the right person - the perp, the violater. By having a community like this, you can recieve support, validation and a sense of a community. Sometimes, it takes a survivor to understand a survivor. 

Please know, that you have nothing to be ashamed about, and that we believe you!

If you would have any questions, need a little chat or some assistance, you can PM me or any staff member of choice. We are here for you, so please don't hesitate to reach out! 

So long, stay safe 

W

 

[cuttochoose]

6 hours ago, awi said:

@cuttochoose Hi welcome to this safe place.  So glad you found us. Know that you are not alone.  Keeping you company during this part of your journey

@awi Thank you awi for responding to my message and letting me know that I'm not alone.

[cuttochoose]

2 hours ago, WannaMoveOn said:

Hello cuttochoose and welcome to AfterSilence! I am Wanna

I completely understand your wish to move forward in life, I mean, just look at my username, right? When we are healing, we need to actively confront our past from time to time. We so often make excuses for the perp or minimize our own experience, often second guessing what actually happened. However, our reactions and suffer is our greatest witness; We would never choose to feel the way we do, or to carry trauma for years to come. When we reclaim our voices and own our stories, the guilt and shame can be directed to the right person - the perp, the violater. By having a community like this, you can recieve support, validation and a sense of a community. Sometimes, it takes a survivor to understand a survivor. 

Please know, that you have nothing to be ashamed about, and that we believe you!

If you would have any questions, need a little chat or some assistance, you can PM me or any staff member of choice. We are here for you, so please don't hesitate to reach out! 

So long, stay safe 

W

 

@WannaMoveOn
Hi Wanna, thank you very much for your comment. 
That's why my username is cut-to-choose. I want to CUT my past completely.
When I think about my experiences, I feel heavy and angry. I can feel a knot in my heart and my jaw gets tight.
For a very long time, I said to myself well that was my choice too, so I can't completely blame on the violator. And I am mad at myself for thinking that way.
That's when I realize that I need support to have some sense.
I really appreciate your comment, it feels good to know I am not alone in this
 

[WannaMoveOn]

19 minutes ago, cuttochoose said:

@WannaMoveOn
Hi Wanna, thank you very much for your comment. 
That's why my username is cut-to-choose. I want to CUT my past completely.
When I think about my experiences, I feel heavy and angry. I can feel a knot in my heart and my jaw gets tight.
For a very long time, I said to myself well that was my choice too, so I can't completely blame on the violator. And I am mad at myself for thinking that way.
That's when I realize that I need support to have some sense.
I really appreciate your comment, it feels good to know I am not alone in this
 

Joining a community is a way to read other survivor's stories and to discuss the patterns. Most cases of SA/R happen in close relationships and in ways that are not usually portayed by pop culture media. It usually involves a process of manipulation, trauma bonding and mental abuse. It is also okay to change one's mind last minute, nobody has the right to your body expect you, and only you can consent. 

I hope this community will offer you that extra support that you need and deserve. Take your time to settle in here, I am just one PM away.

[missfrier]

Dear ctrochoose

 

Welcome to After Silence!!

 

I'm sorry for what you have been through. I find it is easier to talk on forums then out loud. Being here has helped me so much, even from the first time I ever posted. It is still helping me - I have so much support here and I know you will, as well. Here at AS, we are like a big family and our members are kind and non-judgemental.

 

I am sending you lots of safe hugs!

 

Take care!

[awi]

18 hours ago, cuttochoose said:

@awi Thank you awi for responding to my message and letting me know that I'm not alone.

[cuttochoose]

12 hours ago, missfrier said:

Dear ctrochoose

 

Welcome to After Silence!!

 

I'm sorry for what you have been through. I find it is easier to talk on forums then out loud. Being here has helped me so much, even from the first time I ever posted. It is still helping me - I have so much support here and I know you will, as well. Here at AS, we are like a big family and our members are kind and non-judgemental.

 

I am sending you lots of safe hugs!

 

Take care!

@missfrier
Hi missfrier,
Thank you for your comment. I just posted my first 2 posts this morning. It felt heavy as I had to re-visit my wound(s) after posting them.
But I understand why the forum-base is helpful as you can see what you wrote afterwards.
I'm happy to hear that AS is still helping you to process your wounds. Thank you for reaching out to me!

Edited Tuesday at 03:19 AM by cuttochoose