Hi, I’m a survivor again

[VioletBloom]

Hello, this is my first time joining a community like this. I’m a survivor of CSA and the resulting trauma has made me a victim 3 times over. Most were before I was 20 but I’m coming to terms now with a relationship that ended a year ago that I didn’t see was abusive.  It’s hard to talk about with anyone because not many people know of my history and I’m scared of being shamed or ignored. At this point I feel like a lot of people think I should just be over it.  My therapist recommended joining a group of survivors but talking about stuff in person is hard. I see a lot of similar stories to my own here. I hope that I’m able to offer support to those in similar situations and find some of my own as well. 

[rabbitprotectsme]

@VioletBloom... I'm so sorry.

People who think this is something you can just "get over..." I know it can be so hurtful. But... I don't think you'll find any of them here.

Welcome. I'm glad you're here now. 

[Finchy]

Welcome to AS! I'm glad you found your way here.  I'm really sorry for what you've been through...and the fact that people think you should get over what you've experienced. That's wrong and not fair. You'll find a lot of very supportive people here. Kind people. We will be here for you!! Best wishes on your healing journey.

-Finchy

[Little Warrior]

@VioletBloom I'm sorry for everything that brought you here but I am glad you are here. 

I am only beginning now to share my trauma and I know how hard it is. I don't know that being over it is ever possible. I do know that over the years when I could not talk about it, hearing other people's stories helped me feel less alone. I think you are brave to talk about it and I pray it helps you as much as it will surly help others. ❤️

[awi]

@VioletBloom

Sitting with you

Edited October 16 by awi

[MeBeMary]

Hi VioletBloom,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for the abuse you endured as a child, as well as the most recent relationship you are thankfully away from now. It's often times difficult to see anything clearly while in the midst of abuse, so that is very understandable. Abusers can be manipulative and emotionally damaging. That is not your fault, it's his and only his. 

"At this point I feel like a lot of people think I should just be over it."

Oh, how I hate this phrase and mentality. Anyone who says that has no clue to the aftermath of trauma and should not be judging anyone's circumstances. They are not the person who endured what you have. They are not the one battling struggles and wanting it to be that simple. We are never just over it...as abuse cannot be undone. We might be able to learn to manage the struggles better and have more good days and bad. This is our goal, to not let it control our lives...but just be over it? That is an ignorant belief. It's sad that there are so many who believe that!

I'm glad your T suggested you find a group of others like yourself. We may not be in person, yet still offer so much support, kindness, understanding, encouragement, and validation. These are many things that survivors need and desire...and deserve. You deserve!

Feel free to look around and jump in where and when you feel comfortable to do so. We are here for you!

Mary

 

[angelsliveon]

I am so sorry you were abused as a child and that you found yourself hurting again. I used to have so much shame about the trauma that happened to me as an adolescent. I felt that I should have known better, been wiser, and that I had betrayed myself. It really sucks that going through CSA makes us so much more likely to be abused again in the future. You didn't deserve it as a child and you don't deserve it now. 

Thank you for sharing yourself. I am glad you are finding support. <3

[bart27830]

@VioletBloom

Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you have reasons to sell help here. As a relatively fresh person on this forum I can tell you found a good supportive community. 

Take care!