Hi all, new here

[Eviesaye]

Hello everyone, Im Evie. 

 

I had a very long time of ignoring and downplaying my childhood experiences, telling myself i was completely fine with it. I think now i realise I was never fine and its negatively effected my behavours and life the entire time. Good news is I have a good relationship, but its hard to talk about this to him about this. 

Still fighting imposter syndrome/the feeling im only speaking out for attention. 

[ActivistAlly]

Hello Eviesaye 

Welcome to AfterSilence!  I'm sorry that you went through traumatic childhood experiences but I'm glad you've found AfterSilence!  I hope this will be a safe place where you can talk about these things and feel understood.  Many of us feel like imposters or maybe are only seeking attention but I believe you and I believe you have every right to be here and deserve to be heard and to heal.  I hope you find many members here who will make it feel like they are with you every step of the way to helping you have a better future!

ActivistAlly

[bart27830]

Hello @Eviesaye! Welcome to the forum. I find it to be a very good, affirming place. I'm kind of new here also. 

Your feelings matter, and there is no threshold of suffering after which we can speak out. This belief exists only in our heads due to the low self-esteem imposed on us.

Take care!

[rabbitprotectsme]

Hi! Welcome! Glad to meet you!

If you're speaking out for attention, it's because you need it. And you deserve it. We all need to be heard. We all need to be believed about what happened to us, and how it's affected us. It's so important. The feelings you're uncovering are real, and are proof enough, and we'll believe you here. It's safe here.

[ShyUnicorn]

48 minutes ago, bart27830 said:

This belief exists only in our heads due to the low self-esteem imposed on us.

Well said @bart27830 . We have been conditioned to think we are undeserving, but that is so far from the truth. 
You deserve to be heard and to heal. We all do. 
I am sorry you experienced something so traumatic, Evie. Hopefully, this place will be the perfect environment for you to process and heal. 
 

💐ShyUnicorn

[Eviesaye]

Thank you, theres been a lot of unconditional support from everyone and its getting me emotional. 

[MeBeMary]

Hi Evie and welcome.

I am very sorry for the trauma you've endured, the struggles you face and the uncertainty you've had regarding it. I think the downplaying is quite normal, and personally...I did it for decades...until I found A.S. when I was at my lowest point. This community is wonderful in support, understanding, and validation. And you deserve each of these. 

Sometimes it takes time to share...and when you do, it may be on your own terms, and that's ok. Communication is good in a relationship, but at a tolerable level in regard to what has hurt you the worst in life. It's a good relationship, so when you find that your able to share things, he would be respectful of your boundaries, I'm sure. 

I am glad you found us. I wish you the best on your healing journey.

Mary

[Finchy]

Welcome to AS, Evie! I'm glad you found your way here.  I'm sorry for what you've been through, but you will gain a lot of help and support here. I wish you all the best on your healing journey!

-Finchy

[awi]

@Evie welcome to this safe place