alone but hopeful

[Little-bird]

Spoiler

 

Hi! I’m a 31 year old woman in a relationship who really needs help. I’m confused and isolated. I’m scared to even post this because then it feels real. I hope I can help others and find help. I just recently had my doctor tell me she is worried about my relationship yesterday and i am terrified. I’m about to leave to spend 9 days with him in a town where i don’t know anyone. I love him so much and hope i can help him too. I really hope to find help here. I really appreciate you all. I am just terrified.

[MeBeMary]

Hi Little-bird and welcome.

There must be reasons why your doctor is worried, and you feel terrified. I would think very carefully if you should go away with him. When you are isolated and confused, it's not a good situation. He should be sure that you are wanting and willing to go...and that is verified by more than words. Don't let pressure or manipulation guide your decisions. If he cares for you, he will understand. And if he doesn't understand, I would be worried. 

Please think long and hard before deciding to go.

Feel free to look around the site and know you aren't alone.

Mary

 

[Little-bird]

26 minutes ago, MeBeMary said:

Hi Little-bird and welcome.

There must be reasons why your doctor is worried, and you feel terrified. I would think very carefully if you should go away with him. When you are isolated and confused, it's not a good situation. He should be sure that you are wanting and willing to go...and that is verified by more than words. Don't let pressure or manipulation guide your decisions. If he cares for you, he will understand. And if he doesn't understand, I would be worried. 

Please think long and hard before deciding to go.

Feel free to look around the site and know you aren't alone.

Mary

 

Thank you so much mary. I’m already finding some help. I don’t want to admit the man i love could be hurtful. I tried to tell him my doctor said maybe he has unchecked trauma and he broke down and lost it. he said he felt gaslit and like i was telling everyone he is evil to me. i am almost always physically and emotionally weak and especially right now so i dont have energy to do anything. I am too scared of what will happen if i dont come with him for the week. I opened up to a friend a little bit to my mom but im so scared. Thank you so much. I just want to wake up and be happy.

[MeBeMary]

I responded to your other post a little more thoroughly. I understand that it's hard to admit. I'm glad you are opening up to people in your life. You deserve support and you should seek it wherever you can. 

Safe hugs, if ok.  

[awi]

Hi sitting with you 

Edited August 1, 2025 by awi

[WolfMoon]

Welcome, Littlebird! I'm sorry you're struggling, I hope you can find the support you need here. We are all here for you ❤️

[WannaMoveOn]

22 hours ago, Little-bird said:

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Hi! I’m a 31 year old woman in a relationship who really needs help. I’m confused and isolated. I’m scared to even post this because then it feels real. I hope I can help others and find help. I just recently had my doctor tell me she is worried about my relationship yesterday and i am terrified. I’m about to leave to spend 9 days with him in a town where i don’t know anyone. I love him so much and hope i can help him too. I really hope to find help here. I really appreciate you all. I am just terrified.

Hello there Little-bird and welcome on board! I am Wanna

Wow, your situation sounds indeed stressful. How are you doing now? 

Just for your own safety: This is a public forum. If you need to protect any information of yourself, please go into one of our not public forums (like the Gathering Place) and continue there. 

You are most invited to be here. Whatever happens, After Silence has your back. Many of us here have felt scared in relationships too, and it can take a long time until we finally put words on it. This is a safe place, we don't judge, we believe you. 

Please know, you can talk about anything here. Just throw me a PM if you'd need assistance with the site, would have questions or need a little chat. 

W

[Flowerheal]

Welcome to the forum.

 

I understand terrified of being with someone. 
 

Please reach out to your friends and mom again or a hotline you may have. They too may be able to help. 
 

I also thought reach out to therapy in your area. You can do all of this quietly if need be to keep it secret. 
 

There is alternative and a hotline can help you if you do not have family or friend you can turn to. 
 

Welcome.