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Hello, I guess I am not really new as I used to be here some years ago. It is a great Forum and the support I had when I was posting really helped me. I used to be Andrea1501 but the new site didn't seem to recognise me, so now I am Andrea2603!

I don't know if anyone can remember me but, if you do, please say hi. 

I am pretty sure I will be the oldest person here, I am 72, but if there is anyone near to me in age, it would be really nice to know that I am not the only one.

I have come back because I have been feeling angry and weepy and I think it's because my present physical state is triggering feelings of the helplessness I felt as a child. I am a survivor of CSA, my father was my abuser, but memories of my childhood didn't surface until I was 42. I am waiting for a second hip replacement and having to use a stick and a 'grabber' has aggravated arthritis in my hands. I am not quite sure how I have turned into such an 'old fogey' but it's so frustrating. 

I realise it's 30 years that I have been dealing with this and healing from it. When I look at some of my old posts and I compare them with the way I feel now, I know that the journey has been very up and down, but I feel so much better. 

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Welcome back, Andrea! Nice to meet you! I'm glad you returned to the forums. First off, I suggest posting in the Help Desk about your past account. The moderators can help you sort things out with it. :) They can merge the old one with your new one, so you don't lose your old posts.

Secondly, I'm so sorry for what you've been through. CSA and any other abuse sticks with us for years...age doesn't matter. I'm sorry to hear you've been doing not so great lately. I hope that your health improves when you have your second hip replacement. ❤️ I'm sure it's very frustrating, but you're doing your best. You're so strong!

Sending you lots of support and best wishes.

-Finch

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Hi Andrea,

Welcome back to the community. It is the same supportive place and tho there are many new members, there are still some older members you are likely to come across. I don't know if you remember me, but I've been here since 2015. 

I am sorry that current physical conditions are triggering your history. I do think that healing can be such a rollercoaster...a ride none of us wish to be on. It is good tho that you remembered us and the understanding that came with being part of the community. 

@mini.finch gave a great suggestion to retrieve your old account. Tho a search can bring you to older posts, it's just easier to have access and the moderators are great on helping you fix things up. :)

I'm glad that you have reached out again. You still deserve all the kindness and support this site has to offer. Welcome back and wishing you the best on more forward healing steps. 

Mary

:supportu:

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Hi, @Andrea2603 - 

Welcome back to AS! I hope you're feeling to be back at home here :) As mentioned above, Help Desk is a great way to get all of your stuff merged so you don't lose old posts! 

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now. I'm sure you know - healing has no timeline. The ups and downs are completely normal. You're safe to feel that here. 

If you need anything at all, I'm here! Welcome back :) We're happy you're here. 

All the best,
Poppy

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Thanks very much mini.finch, MeBeMary and Poppy. I do remember your name MeBeMary.

I will ask the Help Desk as you suggest 🙂

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Welcome back to AS, Andrea! I am so sorry to hear that what you’re going through now has brought up those painful feelings. We are all here for you. I hope you find the peace and healing that you deserve. ♥️

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@Andrea2603 You’re welcome!

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Hi, @Andrea2603 - welcome back to AS! I echo all of those who have posted before me and hope that being here brings you peace, comfort and healing.  Though the circumstances are not ideal, I am glad you're here.  

I can help you with merging your accounts.  There is a message waiting for you in Help Desk. :)  Would you check on that when you get a chance?  If it's easier, you can send me a PM and we'll get that straightened out ASAP. 

Wishing you all the best,

- Capulet

 

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Hello @Andrea2603 and welcome back to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

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