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Hello everyone,

I've been avoiding to face my child abuse since I was 12 and suppressed everything I could. I just turned 29 and this is the hardest thing I've ever had to face. It took me a week to set up an appointment to see a therapist and try to collect my emotions. I cry all the time, have a hard time sleeping, and when I'm stressed I get blinding migraines. I wasn't sure when I was going to be ready to face my trauma but I know that I need to in order to heal. My denial turned into addiction, anger/rage, and has hurt my marriage tremendously. I completely shut down and my husband thinks he did something wrong. I'm just trying to process things and I finally told him that the other night since we haven't been intimate in almost a couple of weeks. I can't connect with him and he doesn't try to sympathize. He's tells me just because I've been abused doesn't give me a right to get mad like the way I do. That pissed me the fuck off and I got so angry I started shaking and had to leave my house. I felt like I was going to completely lose it. I told him it gives me every right to and I won't be silenced. People that never been through what I've been through will never understand the damage it has caused me. I just need to vent to people that understand how I'm feeling. 

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Hello Survivor,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry you endured abuse as a child. This is never right or deserved. You have found a very supportive community with many understanding and kind people. You are not alone. It is true your husband likely doesn't understands what you went thru and struggles that just don't go away. You are like many of us who have tried suppressing or repressing this memories, but I know...it doesn't just go away. Facing it tho is a huge step. Do not doubt this.

Feel free to look around the site and interact when and where you feel comfortable. It is a healthy and safe community here and I hope you find some encouragement and validation as you begin to move forward. It's not an easy journey, but we are with you.

Wishing you many more steps on this journey we call healing.

Mary

:youcanheal:

Edited by MeBeMary
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1 minute ago, MeBeMary said:

Hello Survivor,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry you endured abuse as a child. This is never right or deserved. You have found a very supportive community with many understanding and kind people. You are not alone. It is true your husband likely understands what you went thru and struggles that just don't go away. You are like many of us who have tried suppressing or repressing this memories, but I know...it doesn't just go away. Facing it tho is a huge step. Do not doubt this.

Feel free to look around the site and interact when and where you feel comfortable. It is a healthy and safe community here and I hope you find some encouragement and validation as you begin to move forward. It's not an easy journey, but we are with you.

Wishing you many more steps on this journey we call healing.

Mary

:youcanheal:

Thank you Mary.

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Welcome to After Silence!!  I'm sorry for the circumstances that have led you to us, but am glad you're here.  There is strength in numbers and I'm hoping that being here will bring you peace, comfort and healing.

Best wishes,
Capulet

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Dear survivor 

 

I am sorry for all that you have been through.   You have been so brave in reaching out to us, please know that this is never easy!   We are all here for you and we want to support you.  You're not alone in your healing journey and are always welcome to lean on us for extra support.  You can post as much or as little as you like.  We are here to support you in the way you need.  I have found this community to be very helpful.  Everyone is so understanding and non-judgmental and I am hoping you feel the same way once you've gotten to know us a little.   

 

All my best,

missfrier

 

 

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9 hours ago, Survivor2021 said:

Hello everyone,

I've been avoiding to face my child abuse since I was 12 and suppressed everything I could. I just turned 29 and this is the hardest thing I've ever had to face. It took me a week to set up an appointment to see a therapist and try to collect my emotions. I cry all the time, have a hard time sleeping, and when I'm stressed I get blinding migraines. I wasn't sure when I was going to be ready to face my trauma but I know that I need to in order to heal. My denial turned into addiction, anger/rage, and has hurt my marriage tremendously. I completely shut down and my husband thinks he did something wrong. I'm just trying to process things and I finally told him that the other night since we haven't been intimate in almost a couple of weeks. I can't connect with him and he doesn't try to sympathize. He's tells me just because I've been abused doesn't give me a right to get mad like the way I do. That pissed me the fuck off and I got so angry I started shaking and had to leave my house. I felt like I was going to completely lose it. I told him it gives me every right to and I won't be silenced. People that never been through what I've been through will never understand the damage it has caused me. I just need to vent to people that understand how I'm feeling. 

Hi , I am sorry for what you have  gone through, I was abused as a child too. All the emotions you are feeling are normal. Take your time going through the stages. I am sorry your husband didn't react with more compassion. You will find support here and you are not alone.

Patricia 

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11 hours ago, Survivor2021 said:

Hello everyone,

I've been avoiding to face my child abuse since I was 12 and suppressed everything I could. I just turned 29 and this is the hardest thing I've ever had to face. It took me a week to set up an appointment to see a therapist and try to collect my emotions. I cry all the time, have a hard time sleeping, and when I'm stressed I get blinding migraines. I wasn't sure when I was going to be ready to face my trauma but I know that I need to in order to heal. My denial turned into addiction, anger/rage, and has hurt my marriage tremendously. I completely shut down and my husband thinks he did something wrong. I'm just trying to process things and I finally told him that the other night since we haven't been intimate in almost a couple of weeks. I can't connect with him and he doesn't try to sympathize. He's tells me just because I've been abused doesn't give me a right to get mad like the way I do. That pissed me the fuck off and I got so angry I started shaking and had to leave my house. I felt like I was going to completely lose it. I told him it gives me every right to and I won't be silenced. People that never been through what I've been through will never understand the damage it has caused me. I just need to vent to people that understand how I'm feeling. 

Hello Survivor2021, I am Wanna. I wanted to wish you my warmest welcomes to this platform. 

You have my respect and sympathies. Taking that first step out of denial and reaching out has so much work behind it. It is such an effort, I want you to know that. 

In that first critical stage, our emotions, reactions and memories tend to take a toll on us, to say the least. Everything takes more energy, focusing is hard, relationships may turn difficult. Emotional outbursts, such as crying and range, as well addiction are common too. You are not alone, and you are doing the right thing by taking yourself seriously.

Be patient with yourself, I hope your professional help will guide you towards healthy coping techniques. I also hope, that this site and your therapist will help you to process, step by step. 

People who have experienced similar trauma can sympathize. I think that is a difference. People who have not can still empathize and take you seriously, but I think the difference with telling a survivor is that you might relate to another. We welcome secondary survivors as well, and there is information to get for partners, friends and family to survivors. However, I think you are being strong for sticking up for yourself. You do have every right to your emotions, and you own your story.  

Hope to see your around, never doubt to reach out! :supportu: :youcanheal:

Best wishes

- Wanna :flowers:

Edited by WannaMoveOn
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3 hours ago, patriciag said:

Hi , I am sorry for what you have  gone through, I was abused as a child too. All the emotions you are feeling are normal. Take your time going through the stages. I am sorry your husband didn't react with more compassion. You will find support here and you are not alone.

Patricia 

Thank you Patrica

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Welcome @Survivor2021 to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

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3 hours ago, 8888 said:

Welcome @Survivor2021 to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

Thank you @8888

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Hi, @Survivor2021 - 

Welcome to After Silence! I'm sorry you're having such a hard time processing this information right now. I know it can be so much to handle and it can be hard to work through. I'm proud of you for reaching out and seeking the support you need and deserve. You are worth it. 

If you need anything, feel free to reach out to any of our lovely staff here! They are so kind and helpful. I'm also here if you need a listening ear :)  

Wishing you all the best,
Poppy

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