13rose Posted June 15, 2020 Share Posted June 15, 2020 Hello everyone, ****Sorry for the trigger warning, its not graphic just wasn't sure what would upset people in the forums, and wanted to play it safe***** This is just my short introduction. I left a domestic abuse situation a few years ago and am now in a safe happy new life and relationship. However, I still struggle all the time with what happened to me, and some days are harder than others. It was emotional, sexual, and eventually physical abuse and in the end when I left I had to leave my cat behind with the abuser. Its been years, I even have a new cat now who I love to pieces and is completely different than the one that I lost however some days I just find myself crying for the cat I lost. I loved her so much and the thought that it feels like I basically abandoned her is something that is hard to cope with. I tried fighting for her but his name was on everything even though I paid for and took care of her. The day I ran he said I would never get to see her again and he was right. He even put her in his car the day I took the few things I could out of our apartment with the police there. I find myself looking through photos of her on days that are hard. I just remember how she use to run away from him when he would come home and hide. I couldn't save her, and the thought that she is most likely still alive and stuck with him without me hurts so bad. I also struggle with stuff due to the sexual experiences I had which I don't want to tmi anyone with too many details there. Everything has been a lot better but I thought it would be a good idea to try and join a community like this to share my story and help others. Thanks for reading. Link to post
MeBeMary Posted June 15, 2020 Share Posted June 15, 2020 Hello 13rose, Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for the abuse you endured during your relationship. You did nothing wrong, tho I know you miss your cat. Animals can be like family and I'm sure when you going thru your worst, she was there. I am sorry you were not able to lay claim to her even tho it sounds as she truly was yours. I am sure you love the new cat, but know it's not the same. Each cat is an individual personality to love. I am glad tho that you were able to free yourself from this relationship. You are very brave and did not deserve the pain you went thru. Do know this is a very supportive site with many understanding members. Feel free to look around and interact where you feel comfortable. You are not alone. I wish you many steps forward on this journey we call healing. Mary Link to post
8888 Posted June 17, 2020 Share Posted June 17, 2020 Welcome @13rose to After Silence. I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support. Good job taking this step in your healing process. You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault. It wasn't your fault you couldn't save your cat either, although I believe pets are family it was more important that you got yourself as a human out of an unsafe situation. I totally understand you missing your cat though. Take your time exploring here and post when you are ready. If you have any questions feel free to message me. Link to post
marcyabadeer Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 On 6/15/2020 at 3:19 PM, 13rose said: Hello everyone, ****Sorry for the trigger warning, its not graphic just wasn't sure what would upset people in the forums, and wanted to play it safe***** This is just my short introduction. I left a domestic abuse situation a few years ago and am now in a safe happy new life and relationship. However, I still struggle all the time with what happened to me, and some days are harder than others. It was emotional, sexual, and eventually physical abuse and in the end when I left I had to leave my cat behind with the abuser. Its been years, I even have a new cat now who I love to pieces and is completely different than the one that I lost however some days I just find myself crying for the cat I lost. I loved her so much and the thought that it feels like I basically abandoned her is something that is hard to cope with. I tried fighting for her but his name was on everything even though I paid for and took care of her. The day I ran he said I would never get to see her again and he was right. He even put her in his car the day I took the few things I could out of our apartment with the police there. I find myself looking through photos of her on days that are hard. I just remember how she use to run away from him when he would come home and hide. I couldn't save her, and the thought that she is most likely still alive and stuck with him without me hurts so bad. I also struggle with stuff due to the sexual experiences I had which I don't want to tmi anyone with too many details there. Everything has been a lot better but I thought it would be a good idea to try and join a community like this to share my story and help others. Thanks for reading. Hello @13rose Welcome to After Silence! I am so sorry for the circumstances that brought you here, but we are happy you are here with us. I am glad to hear you are in a safe, happy relationship- that can always be a source of comforting support through the healing process. It is unfortunate your ex was able to keep your cat I can imagine that must be very sad and painful for you. Sending you support if ok? I hope being here on the forums helps you feel less alone through the grieving process. Sitting with you too, if ok sam 🖤🌻 Link to post
missfrier Posted June 20, 2020 Share Posted June 20, 2020 On 6/15/2020 at 8:19 PM, 13rose said: Hello everyone, ****Sorry for the trigger warning, its not graphic just wasn't sure what would upset people in the forums, and wanted to play it safe***** This is just my short introduction. I left a domestic abuse situation a few years ago and am now in a safe happy new life and relationship. However, I still struggle all the time with what happened to me, and some days are harder than others. It was emotional, sexual, and eventually physical abuse and in the end when I left I had to leave my cat behind with the abuser. Its been years, I even have a new cat now who I love to pieces and is completely different than the one that I lost however some days I just find myself crying for the cat I lost. I loved her so much and the thought that it feels like I basically abandoned her is something that is hard to cope with. I tried fighting for her but his name was on everything even though I paid for and took care of her. The day I ran he said I would never get to see her again and he was right. He even put her in his car the day I took the few things I could out of our apartment with the police there. I find myself looking through photos of her on days that are hard. I just remember how she use to run away from him when he would come home and hide. I couldn't save her, and the thought that she is most likely still alive and stuck with him without me hurts so bad. I also struggle with stuff due to the sexual experiences I had which I don't want to tmi anyone with too many details there. Everything has been a lot better but I thought it would be a good idea to try and join a community like this to share my story and help others. Thanks for reading. Dear 13rose I am sorry for all that you have been through. You have been so brave in reaching out to us, please know that this is never easy! We are all here for you and we want to support you. You're not alone in your healing journey and are always welcome to lean on us for extra support. You can post as much or as little as you like. We are here to support you in the way you need. I have found this community to be very helpful. Everyone is so understanding and non-judgmental and I am hoping you feel the same way once you've gotten to know us a little.  All my best, Link to post
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