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Hello everyone

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Hi guys,

I'm so glad to find this site. I've been struggling for eleven years with shame and self-loathing, following an incident which I blamed myself for. This time last year, during a time of self-reflection, I realized that what had happened was non-consensual. I didn't know who to talk to about these thoughts, because the person this happened with is my husband of ten years. I will share more on another post, but I'm just really glad to find a safe space with people who understand.

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Hi, @Veronica1121 - 

Welcome to After Silence! I'm sorry for what happened to you eleven years ago and I'm sorry for your dawning realizations that it was not consensual. I'm even more sorry that you were hurt by someone that you trusted so deeply and someone that you should be safe with. 

This is a wonderful place to talk about hings that have happened and ask for advice. If no one has advice, we can at least sit with you and let you know that you're not alone. The support here is amazing and I hope that soon you'll discover that as well. 

Feel free to look around the site as much as you want, and post when you're ready. We will all be here to support you when you're ready to share! If you need anything at all, please give me a shout! I'm here always :) 

Wishing you all the best,

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Hi @Veronica1121

Welcome to AS.  I'm sorry for the experiences in your life that brought you here, but I'm glad you found the site and decided to join. It's normal for survivors to take many years to figure out what happened to us.  Please know that what happened was not your fault and you did not deserve it.  This site is a safe space and we are all here to support each other.  You are welcome to post and share anytime you feel comfortable.  It can be hard when you don't have anyone to talk to about what you are going through, but we are all here to listen.  Healing is possible.  I hope you end up finding this site as helpful as I do. 

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Welcome @Veronica1121 to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

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Hi Veronica,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for what you experienced and the realization of what it truly was. I know for myself it took decades to come to the realization that my assault was non-consensual, but it was not from a husband or even from someone I was dating. I know the realization must be difficult for you, this being a man you decided to be with, I am assuming, for good. You give no indication if this is something that you are reconsidering your marriage or if there is other things that cause concern for you.

Perhaps this is what you meant by sharing more in a later post, which is fine. Perhaps this is why you decided to join our little community, to help you sort out your thoughts and feelings? It doesn't need to be done sooner than you need. Do know there is never pressure or judgment. You are processing and we are here for you, when you need.

I am glad you have decided to take the step in reaching out. I find interacting with others who understand is something that helps a great deal. I do hope you discover this too. I wish you well on this journey of healing.



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 Dear veronica

I am sorry for all that you have been through.   You have been so brave in reaching out to us, please know that this is never easy!   We are all here for you and we want to support you.  You're not alone in your healing journey and are always welcome to lean on us for extra support.  You can post as much or as little as you like.  We are here to support you in the way you need.  I have found this community to be very helpful.  Everyone is so understanding and non-judgmental and I am hoping you feel the same way once you've gotten to know us a little. :)  

All my best,

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