New, confused, and desperate

[Achelois]

Hi, I found this group while searching for a place to get advice. I just found out a couple days ago that I was raped by my friend’s husband 16 years ago. (I know it sounds really weird that I didn’t know) It’s about to turn my life upside down and destroy everything. I can’t say much more without getting into too much detail about my story, which I know this isn’t the place to do that yet. I’m desperate for help and I’m so glad I found a place to turn to. 

[pattyr]

Hi @Achelois, I am sorry for what brings you to a site like this, but I am glad you found AS and have taken the step of reaching out.  I don’t know what happened to you, but I know there are many reasons why we sometimes don’t know what has happened to us until much later.

 I hope you find the support you are looking for as you steer through the challenge of knowing. This is a friendly community.

[Achelois]

Thank you, @pattyr 

[pattyr]

You’re welcome!  I wanted to add that I hope this recent revelation leads to healing for you, not to things being destroyed.

[Dawn76]

Welcome, 

I am so sorry such a horrible event has brought you here. I hope you can find some comfort in knowing you are not alone and we are all here for you when you need us or when you feel ready to share or have some one to just sit with you. 

 

 

[8888]

Welcome to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

[missfrier]

Dear  @Archelouis

Welcome to After Silence!!

I'm sorry for what you have been through.  I find it is easier to talk on forums then out loud.  Being here has helped me so much, even from the first time I ever posted.  It is still helping me - I have so much support here and I know you will, as well.  Here at AS, we are like a big family and our members are kind and non-judgemental.

I am sending you lots of safe hugs! 

Take care!

[snmls]

@Achelois

Welcome to AS.  I'm sorry for the experiences in your life that brought you here, but I'm glad you found the site and decided to join.  This is a safe space and we are all here to support each other.  I don't think it is weird at all that it took you 16 years to realize what happened.  Many survivors do not fully grasp or understand what happened until months or years later.  How long it takes someone to understand what happened in no way makes what happened any less valid.  The good part to all this is now that you are aware, you can begin to heal from what happened.  Take some time looking around the site and post whenever you feel comfortable.  I look forward to seeing you around the community and I hope you find the site as helpful as I do.  

[MeBeMary]

18 hours ago, Achelois said:

Hi, I found this group while searching for a place to get advice. I just found out a couple days ago that I was raped by my friend’s husband 16 years ago. (I know it sounds really weird that I didn’t know) It’s about to turn my life upside down and destroy everything. I can’t say much more without getting into too much detail about my story, which I know this isn’t the place to do that yet. I’m desperate for help and I’m so glad I found a place to turn to. 

Hi Achelois,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for the trauma you've experienced by your friend's husband. It is not weird or unusual. The mind can be very complex and confusing. It can deny what happen or sometimes not allow you to remember. I personally am a combination of both and it took me decades to finally admit it for what it was. Even with the complexity of our mind, it still allows us to have struggles. I am sorry you experience that. You have found a very supportive site tho, with many understanding members. I wish you the best as you find your way down this path we call healing.

Mary

[Struggling88]

Hi, Achelois, and welcome! 

[Gingerjess]

I know you only just found this forum, but I think it is going to be really helpful in your journey to heal. Being able to acknowledge that something happened, and talking to someone, is so important. Good for you for finding a place to start!

[Achelois]

Thank you so much for your kind words. This all feels surreal, like I’m living someone else’s life right now.

[Poppy_]

Hi, @Achelois - 

Welcome to After Silence! I'm so sorry you're realizing this now. Trauma is just as hard to go through later in life as it is when if first happens. I am also currently finding out that I have some sexual abuse in my past that I didn't know about, so I can kind of relate to how you're feeling. 

I hope you find some support here and you start feeling better soon! Just remember that you're not alone. If you ever need anything at all, please don't hesitate to reach out to me. I'm always here  

Sending loads of support,
Poppy

[Achelois]

@Poppy_ I’m so sorry you are just finding out about your past abuse too. Thank you so much for reaching out and share that with me. It helps to know I’m not the only one experiencing this.

[Poppy_]

Just now, Achelois said:

@Poppy_ I’m so sorry you are just finding out about your past abuse too. Thank you so much for reaching out and share that with me. It helps to know I’m not the only one experiencing this.

I'm glad it helps! Just know you can reach out to me if you ever need to talk about anything or if you need a friend - I'm here for you