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[mousie41]

Hi,

I'm 41 years old survivor of being molested almost all my childhood, and teen years by my stepfather. Who also abused my mom the whole time as well.  I'm trying to find away to deal with and get past stuff.  My stepfather died a year ago and it kind of brought things to a boiling point and I've seen had a lot harder of a time handling everything.   

[patriciag]

HI mouse, welcome to AS.  I am sorry for what you have gone through as a child.  I was abused by my father, I understand how hard this is.  When a life changing event happens it can trigger so many things inside of us. You will find this site to be very supportive and we are here for you. you are never alone.

Patricia

[Bluesclues]

@mousie41 I'm so sorry for what you've been through. I'm glad you have found AS as a spot to vent and process. I wish you all the best. Welcome!

[BraveOne]

Welcome to AS, im sorry for the trauma that brought you here. There are a lot of people here who can relate and understand you are definetly not alone. Im sorry it hurts so much. There is healing amd peace

[mousie41]

Thank you for the welcome... I find it's hard to find people around to talk to... My family are to close to the issue and I feel like some of what I have to say will hurt them.  And people that weren't there then and doesn't directly affect like my partner it upsets to talk about me going through it.  Also sometimes my thoughts circle around certain events and I've already told them about it and they don't want to keep hearing it.  I did try counseling and  I found someone I could get along well with but moved and the new one I found I just couldn't connect with and I didn't feel like I was making progress with her.  

[MeBeMary]

20 hours ago, mousie41 said:

Hi,

I'm 41 years old survivor of being molested almost all my childhood, and teen years by my stepfather. Who also abused my mom the whole time as well.  I'm trying to find away to deal with and get past stuff.  My stepfather died a year ago and it kind of brought things to a boiling point and I've seen had a lot harder of a time handling everything.   

 

2 hours ago, mousie41 said:

Thank you for the welcome... I find it's hard to find people around to talk to... My family are to close to the issue and I feel like some of what I have to say will hurt them.  And people that weren't there then and doesn't directly affect like my partner it upsets to talk about me going through it.  Also sometimes my thoughts circle around certain events and I've already told them about it and they don't want to keep hearing it.  I did try counseling and  I found someone I could get along well with but moved and the new one I found I just couldn't connect with and I didn't feel like I was making progress with her.  

Hi mousie,

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry for the trauma you experienced by your stepfather. It is never right for anyone to hurt another this way. You will find tons of support here, as we have many understanding members. What you mention does happen to many of us...we don't want to hurt the people we are close to with our feelings and struggles and them not truly understanding, as they have never been thru this. That is one of the many reasons a site like ours can be helpful. I also wish we could understand why some things trigger us, even if it doesn't make sense, but triggers aren't rational all the time. I'm sure in his death you had hoped for easier, and I am sorry that wasn't the case. I'm sorry the new T is not as comfortable as your old T. Not every T is a fit with every patient. If you need to, look for another. I wish you the best with that and on your continuing journey of healing.

Mary

 

[mousie41]

Yeah I thought him being gone would make me feel better that he is no longer on this earth... I in someways I do feel better.  However, I guess what I wasn't ready for is all the people that thought he was this great guy.  Saying they miss him ect.  I kinda lost my cool when I saw a video of his urn that was inscripted with loving father and husband.... 

[Struggling88]

Hi, Mousie41, and welcome! 

[fallenstar]

Welcome @mousie41, 

[Kmkz]

Welcome @mousie41, AS is a non judgemental, safe and supportive place. I wish you all the best on your healing journey.

[mousie41]

Thank you for the welcome 

[Painnbroken]

On 10/30/2017 at 11:08 PM, mousie41 said:

Hi,

I'm 41 years old survivor of being molested almost all my childhood, and teen years by my stepfather. Who also abused my mom the whole time as well.  I'm trying to find away to deal with and get past stuff.  My stepfather died a year ago and it kind of brought things to a boiling point and I've seen had a lot harder of a time handling everything.   

Hello and welcome to AS!  I am truly sorry for what you’ve endured in your life.  I can relate in many ways. I hope you find much support here.  Best wishes on your healing journey. 

PB

[~FOUND~]

HI there. 
Welcome to AS. 
Very nice to meet you. 
I pray you find what you need and make fab friends. 
My name is ~FOUND~

[elisand]

On 11/1/2017 at 6:04 AM, mousie41 said:

Yeah I thought him being gone would make me feel better that he is no longer on this earth... I in someways I do feel better.  However, I guess what I wasn't ready for is all the people that thought he was this great guy.  Saying they miss him ect.  I kinda lost my cool when I saw a video of his urn that was inscripted with loving father and husband.... 

Welcome to AS!

I hate when people talk about my abuser in non-negative ways. And i can't stop them w/o revealing what he did

 

[mousie41]

It sucks... Made worse if they know what he did and are like it wasn't all bad.  Like him buying me a bike or taking the family camping ect.. could ever make things okay...  Just cause he wasn't bad all the time doesn't mean it makes up for what he did or that  he should be considered a good person....