New here

[ltrainor96]

I've joined this site looking for help and answers. I was sexually assaulted about a year ago and I experienced PTSD symptoms the other day. I don't know what triggers me thinking about these things and thinking about it, it just happens sometimes. I think about it more and more and when I do I almost experience it again. I found myself clenching my fists and resisted hurting myself (which is a big step for me) I felt the pain all over again even though I've blocked this guys number and I have a loving boyfriend who is trying to help me through this. Sometimes I find I trigger myself on purpose just so I can try to let my pain out. Has anyone else experienced this?

[Unsettled]

Hi Itrainor and welcome.  I am so sorry you are experiencing these feelings.  I feel the same way everytime I think about the r*p* I have been raped over and over in my mind thousands of times.  I don't really think you are triggering yourself I think it is a long process to work though the assault and its effects.  I am not the same person I used to be.  There are many places that I haven't been able to go to because I know it will trigger the PTSD.  I am getting a little better.  It has only been 360 days since my SA.  I know it will take years to heal.  I think you need to give yourself time.  Do you have a Therapist?

[patriciag]

Hi ltrainor and welcome to AS. I am sorry the assaulted that you went through. The things you feeling are normal. This site is safe place where others know how you are feeling. We are here for you as you start your journey of healing.

[ltrainor96]

1. Thank you and I have a counselor at school, but feel I should get a therapist. I am scared to tell my parents about it. It has been over a year..

[Lucyprudence]

Welcome to AS. I am new here too and in the beginning stages of dealing with the most recent sexual assault in my life. I was assaulted when I was in Jr High and I had unhealthy ways of dealing with it. I didn't want to tell anyone what happened. I finally got a therapist and she helped me tremendously. Good luck to you, you are not alone here and you are in a safe place.

[phoenixxx]

Welcome ltrainor, 

I think the self-triggering is something a lot of us here do from time to time to release some of those emotions. It is not unusual. As for therapy - do you think you could maybe go to one without telling your parents, if you are not ready for this? For example, if you all the local rape crisis centre, maybe they have an idea as to how you could do it without your parents.

[MeBeMary]

On 9/9/2016 at 8:47 AM, ltrainor96 said:

I've joined this site looking for help and answers. I was sexually assaulted about a year ago and I experienced PTSD symptoms the other day. I don't know what triggers me thinking about these things and thinking about it, it just happens sometimes. I think about it more and more and when I do I almost experience it again. I found myself clenching my fists and resisted hurting myself (which is a big step for me) I felt the pain all over again even though I've blocked this guys number and I have a loving boyfriend who is trying to help me through this. Sometimes I find I trigger myself on purpose just so I can try to let my pain out. Has anyone else experienced this?

Hi Itrainor,

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry for the trauma that you have suffered and the continuing struggles that you are experiencing. Nobody has the right to hurt another this way. PTSD and triggers can be confusing to deal with. How you feel unfortunately is very common. Hopefully you can work thru some of these lousy after effects of being hurt with the support of our members here, your boyfriend, your counselor at school, and perhaps a therapist in the future. The main thing you should know is you are not alone. I know it's difficult, be we are here for you. I wish you well as you start this healing journey.

Mary

 

[MeBeMary]

20 hours ago, Lucyprudence said:

Welcome to AS. I am new here too and in the beginning stages of dealing with the most recent sexual assault in my life. I was assaulted when I was in Jr High and I had unhealthy ways of dealing with it. I didn't want to tell anyone what happened. I finally got a therapist and she helped me tremendously. Good luck to you, you are not alone here and you are in a safe place.

Lucyprudence,

A warm welcome to you, as well. I'm sorry you were hurt, but am glad you have found us. Best wishes to you on your healing journey.

Mary

[Struggling88]

Hi, Itrainor96, and welcome!  I also struggle with PTSD. Getting a therapist was one of the best things I've ever done. 

[reglois]

    if ok

[Tannyluck]

Hi and welcome to AS! I hope you find our community informative/supportive. I wish you well on your healing journey.