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Found 8 results

  1. All this pain, Inside my head. I'm nearing an end, I might end up dead. I have an idea, That'll cost my life. But it's worth it for family, I must do the fight. The fucking bastard, Yea, the sexual abuser. I'm done with everything, No one doing nothing. I'm gonna fight, And by that, let's see. I know how to use a gun, I know where he sleeps. I'm gonna show up, Make sure he's awake. Look him in the eyes, Point the gun in his face. Say, "Goodbye, it's time t
  2. Been hurt so much, Been lied to in the face. Bullied all around, Pushed all over the place Met many people in person, Seems most of them are fake. How come I get the bad people? How come I get hurt by the stake? Society is bad, So is the people. It's to the point, I've given up on visuals. When my family says, "Make some friends!" I ask myself, "What will it take?" I have some real friends, They're online. But to them, That doesn't cut the line. In person,
  3. Where do I even start..... ๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜” All these memories, Inside my head. It makes me mad, Makes me wanna be dead. I don't know what to say, So, I cry myself away. Hopefully it's enough, To drown my mind for the day. All this anger, All this pain. I wanna make it stop, Everything is so gray. No light, no sound, It's a dark place here. Where's myself? I can't see clear. I'm slipping away, Upon these tears. It's not my fault, I didn't choose the years. Abuse
  4. I lost another friend, Here I go again. Guess what, it isn't new, I blame myself again. I'm at fault for the disaster, I'm at fault for losing my friend. He was like a brother to me, But admittedly, a jerk.. something. He would be nice to me, Treat me like his sister. But sometimes then he jokes around, Acts inappropriate and acts sinister. But everytime I'd confront, He'd laugh and tell me to chill. He'd say I'm being overdramatic, And they were just harmless jokes (to him). Now it's fi
  5. I'll be plain and honest, I'm not very strong. Everytime I stand up, I always fall down. I'll be plain and honest, Everytime I try, I fail. When they say, "get up," They also say, "it's not a big deal." I'll be plain and honest, About every word I've heard. "Strong," "smart," "beautiful," It's just a lie in my mind. I'll be plain and honest, With all the lies aside. Last few months, I've been thinking about suicide. I'll be plain and honest, 13 plans in mind. My friend freake
  6. Been a while... I've recently recalled something that I find nagging at me constantly. How can something you love SO much, suddenly be something you hate and despise the most? It's very irritating. *Possible Trigger* Well, one day, I had to go to a hotel and while there, I made a phone call to the abuser. Such a wise choice, huh? The social worker and my therapist were SO hesitant about me doing it, but the detective said it might help. Maybe the abuser will confess, right? We all hope for that, I'm sure. I won't get into everything, as it's pretty traumatizing, but t
  7. The Door I'm standing before a door. I am so tired. My heart is breaking, the grief chokes me. I feel as if I am drowning. The door stands between me and the healing I so long for. I know I must go thru it and face what is on the other side if I ever want to be whole again. I have kept this door shut, hidden away, locked up. I reach out and one by one begin to remove the locks. My hand grasps the knob and then, I stop. I know that on the other side is a little girl. Once the door is open, I will have to face her. I don't know if I can bear to look into her eyes.
  8. I had a few extra days off work and that seemed to make a difference in facing daily life. Maybe the meds are starting to kick in as well. Almost everything is getting a little easier except for dealing with my husband. I do love him dearly and I know he loves me but the drinking is getting so excessive. He becomes difficult and clingy and self-sacrificing. I am worried about his health and my mental health when he gets this way. It seems to trigger some very strong feelings of fighting with him even if he is meaning to be kind and gentle. I will find a way to work through it. Have had to wear
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