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Showing results for tags 'relationships'.
Found 13 results
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I have trouble with the passage of time. The beginning of last week started out really painful and emotional. I was out of my apartment because of the situation I wrote about two blog posts ago, and I was facing two weeks at my mothers house. I was in a state of complete anger and delusion. I was redirecting all that anger towards my roommate/ex/best friend because he was, "kicking me out." Now, those two weeks are almost up. Things don't feel as painful or emotional and I don't feel as angry and upset. But I am a paranoid person and I know how my mental illness works. Time is fleeting, we exp
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All these intrusive thoughts swimming through my head again. It’s agonizing. I really feel I can’t trust a lot of people. I feel like if I opened up even more with every body They’d think I was crazy or gross or perverted. When I say open up I’m talking about my experiences with men after I was assaulted. I got into some weird things. It makes me question my preferences and if everything I love about sex and relationships comes from a dark and twisted place as I said in my last blog post. you love oral sex because Of M You like an aggressive man because M forced you to Perfo
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Everything seems so distorted and tainted. I feel like my relationships and sexuality come from a dark place. I guess that’s what happens when you’ve been traumatized and have been in bad situations. It’s hard to talk about because It makes me feel sick. Relationships, desires, and sexuality are suppose to make you feel liberated not like there’s something wrong with you. I got more promiscuous after I was sexually assaulted. I went on dates with men I barley knew and would let the man do what he wanted. Then I craved something different entirely. The way I can best explain it is ap
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Dear you, it’s been about five years now. You were in your thirties and I was 18 when we met. On our first date we had Chinese food and talked about ourselves, our families and the typical first date mumbo jumbo. Then we went back to your place and Learned more about each other in the physical sense. This was the basis of our relationship. Sex. This was fine at first but let’s be honest, after five years of the same type of sex, the same acts and circumstances etc.. things quickly became stagnant. Yet you seemed perfectly fine with things. This is partly my fault for not speaking
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I learnt a few things in the past two years.
teaandcoffee posted a blog entry in A place for hidden thoughts
Hello once again, Two years later and here I am again! I hope life has treated you well these past few years. This is going to be quite a long ramble about where I am in terms of coping with what happened. It was quite a bizzare feeling to read the words I had written two years ago. And do you know what’s really strange? The same trigger that caused me to start writing two years ago caused me to come back here - intimate, long term, relationships. (For some reason this seems to be a huge issue for me - probably because I crave it and yet fear it all at the same time) An -
ranting about relationship and anxiety problems
nomadlady1 posted a blog entry in My Story (Trigger Warning)
DISCLAIMER: I do go into a little bit of detail about my intimacy with my ex boyfriend. It was always sweet, loving, non abusive, and consensual, but still, just want to give a warning! Hello everyone! So in case anyone needs to read a juicy excerpt of young adult relationship drama, look no further than this post right here! Hmm, but in all seriousness, I was and still am super emotional about my problems with my relationship. And I was just having anxious thoughts, not pertaining to the relationship, but to this anxiety that I am getting so tired of!! I though -
TW: About Me / RE: "Hello, new member here."
Throne posted a blog entry in The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows
Hi there. I know I've only been here 57 days, and there hasn't been many posts, mainly due to my life off of the internet, but I would like to change that. So, I thought I would start off by introducing myself and explaining my first post, just in case anyone was confused. Anyway... Hello, again. My name is Nikita, but my nicknames are Niki or Pepper. I was born on July 27th, 1995 in New York. I am currently 21 years old, and I reside with my parents. I've been mentally ill since I was five years old. I've been diagnosed Major Depressive Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, Insomnia and I'v -
I'm bad at dating. Prefacing this entire entry by stating that is the most important thing. My dating skills are just above the high school f**kboy level. Let's have a bit of a history lesson on my dating history shall we, it shows a lot I think about my character and who I am and how it's led to the issue I now hold. In elementary school I was a total loser. No one liked me and I had 4 friends. One was equally as unpopular as me, one was kind of a controlling bit*h in retrospective, one I thought was super weird and annoying but that was before I understood anything about autism,
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I can't help but beat myself up.... I know... I recognize that it is depression... that it is the resurgence of fucked up feelings/desires and impulses that have been with me my entire life... things I'm ashamed of... been repressing, haven't been exploring or dealing with them... and... I know that a lot of my.... feeling scared... anxious... and quite frankly... recently I just want to... end. Not that I'm going to do anything to hurt myself physically... I'm not capable of that.. but... I am so tired of fighting.. of trying... I'm scared... lonely... whatever. Anyway... My husband and I ha
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I am so sick of feeling invisible. Let me try to break apart the different ways in which I feel invisible. Sexually - For the past two years. maybe for a few years leading up to that too, my husband's and my sexual relationships has changed... has tapered off. Now, I know that's normal... but it's almost like... I am apprehensive to say or do ANYTHING blatantly sexual, because he appears to get irritated and annoyed that I'm horny, again. So like... I have taken to basically being nudist in my house... because it's comfortable (we were never like that growing up...) but also because I like wa
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So... I have been trying to communicate to my husband in a non-threatening, non-aggressive, husband-friendly way... that I NEED sex, sexual attention. That I NEED specific types of sex/sexual attention... and he is trying his best... But he just made me so angry last night. We were laying in bed, and I was trying to initiate sexy time... and there finally came a point where I just had to stop, because I was getting so hurt, angry, whatever. Here I was, writhing next to him, so ready for our sexy night, trying to be coy and touch his thigh/whatever... and he just lays there. He doesn't touch me
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Is there really a point in living life, If we have no one with whom to share it? Living can suck without husband or wife To credit your daily life with merit. We need someone to listen to our stress: Calm down our anger, console our grief, To celebrate with us in our sucess, And after a rough day, be our relief. To whom else can we turn when life's unfair, When everything's wrong and we need a friend? To comfort us when it's too much to bare, We need someone on whom we can depend. We need someone to tell our daily tales, To be there for us through both thick and thin, To take care of us when w
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Relationships are like a rose Fragile, beautiful - with some thorns If neglected, will decompose Relationships are like a rose The more you care, the more it shows And weathers better through the storms Relationships are like a rose Fragile, beautiful - with some thorns
