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Showing results for tags 'recovery'.
Found 25 results
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my O is mine, and mine alone i can touch myself and make me O (wayyyyyyyy better than you ever did BTW) my husband touches me and gives me the best O i bet you thought you could take that away from me laugh out loud bc one of you is dead, and the other in a wheelchair now abusers, you are less than nothing now you destroyed yourself and im not sorry for you you hurt innocent angels and now you are suffering for it-NOT ME i am free. i am innocent. i am beautiful, i am loved and you are where you belong 💀🤡
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Hey everyone, My name is Danah, and I'm proud to say that I'm processing my trauma in therapy, after avoiding it for so long. I used to feel a paralyzing fear, whenever I attempted to "go there" in the past. But this time feels different, I feel really angry and brave at the same time. Like I'm ready to go to war or something. I've been on the road to recovery: healthy diet, medication, meditation, exercise, and therapy. And I felt this urgency to join a support group. I'm Middle Eastern, and the nature of my trauma is quite difficult to discuss with other people in my country, to say the
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rape culture Survivor encouragement - against victim blaming
S.A.I. posted a blog entry in Sneakers against ignorance
If someone blames survivors or tell them "it couldn´t not that bad" I pray for him to become scilent, think it over and thank GOD for not being able to understand them.. -
Hi everyone, I am here as a woking single mother, a survivor of rape, domestic violence and physical assault. Somethings are clear, and some are still a little unclear. I would like to express my thoughts and feelings here in safe environment.
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Prayers and christian thoughts of encouragement
S.A.I. posted a blog entry in My Faith encouragement
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It’s been two years. Two years of crying at the drop of a hat, two years of wincing anytime I’m touched, two years of fighting to survive. Everyday in those two years I have held back tears when someone looks like you, when I realize what was taken. Two years isn’t a long time, but for me it’s been excruciating. I know your eyes still light up, and I know that you can smile and mean it. Meanwhile, every small smile takes more energy than it should. Every time I laugh, it sounds fake, it feels fake. When I get that moment of calm, not needing to run around to deal with all that keeps me busy, I
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A brand new story. Telling the story of the move from Denver Colorado to Homestead Florida. Please read "Finding Me" https://www.perpetuallyhealing.com/2019/…/finding-me-47.html#redirecttheshame
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The waves crash against the dock as I watch the sun set. I breathe in the fresh year and think that I finally found my home. My heart has belonged to the lake since I was a baby. I’ve never felt safer at any place in my life. Whenever things get rough, the pictures I worked so hard on bring me back to the ground. The orange-yellow sky as I sit on a bench by the shore. The people walking their dogs or holding hands with significant others fade. The only thing I see is the water, reflecting everything around me. I’m in love. The lake is the strongest love I’ve ever experienced. Every moment I’m
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Sometimes, I still feel like that child. That scared shitless kid hiding in a closet, hoping that all of this will end. Waiting for the yelling to stop and for the threat to go away. Hoping that this won't happen again. That I'll be okay and that I can just go about my life normally like I did before all of this began. Deep down, I'm still that 11 year old girl who feels the hope depleting from their spirit. Who feels the light drain from their life. She's still there. When most people look at me, they see a growing woman. Someone who's "going places" in life. And when I tell them I'm mo
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For many years, I fought my battles alone. I barricaded myself with the idea that I did need anyone else to get what I was going through. In my mind, every other person was just an intruder. Almost as if letting someone else in was like opening my doors wide open to some kind of attack. I felt like I would have been more vulnerable than Poland during WWII. Germany would invade, and I would be left defenseless. However, every country needs allies and every person-- a friend. Although I technically still had people in my life, it wasn't much of a support system. Mostly because I didn
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Do any of you ever wish that maybe you could just leave? Not just your surroundings but your body. Just leave your entire self behind. I just always feel so trapped. My weird feelings about wanting to leave myself often make me so uncomfortable I refuse look in mirrors. I don't look at my own body in the shower. I get anxious trying to sleep at night because all I can feel is my own body-- this weird sense of self awareness that I can't get rid of. That's literally the weirdest kind of thing to have to admit and I don't even think I've completely described the feeling. I've such an uneasy, fea
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The days go by. Slowly. One by one. Life travels sometimes at what feels like a snail's pace. Everyday is just another trial of what I can really get through. Or another test of whether or not I can make it. Some days, I wake up and I won't to put a bullet in my head. Getting up feels impossible. Survival feels improbable. I have a hard time seeing any reason to be alive anymore. I feel hopeless. Worthless. Like a shell of a human being. I'm not who I used to be. I'm nothing like who I used to be. I used to be happy and full of life. Now, though, I'm scared and constantly wanting to disa
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It was during the summer of this past year. My friend invited me to a party. Parties, naturally, have never been my thing. I hate big groups of people. In my mind, at least one person in a crowd could be evil .They could be a murderer or a rapist. I have trust issues. I trusted my step brother almost 7 years ago now and just look where that got me. I don't remember much of the party. I do know now, though, that I really can't handle my liquor. I shouldn't drink it. I knew that going into it but I was stupid and reckless. I was really depressed at the time and I just wanted to relax and f
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Hello everyone, I'm Rain. I'm currently battling PTSD from my sexual assault, which occurred September 27th. I went to the police and reported the man who did it, and it's been a Hellish battle with the courts. He said he does not want to serve jail time, so it looks like we may end up going to trial. He has until July 27th to accept the plea bargain, which is 60 days in jail, or we go to trial in August. I feel betrayed, since it was my best friend's boyfriend... and she chose his side. Her whole family chose HIS side. Even her brother, who was also my best friend. I'm hu
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"It is so easy to descend into madness, then opening doors and exposing old wounds..."-Timi Afternoon, umm i am so not good at introductions lol. But my name is Timi! I am a 22 years old african american chick from Louisiana. Currently a junior in college but opt out this semester to better my mental and physical health. I am a incest and child molestation survivor and finally receive professional help through therapy. Depression, anxiety, paranoia, and Bipolar disorder have been plaguing my life every since i was child. I thought i could live with what happen to me, continue to interact with
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I don't know the first thing about writing a blog. All I know is I survived. There is more of me broken than functional - but something small, somewhere inside me persists that that will not always be the case. So here I am, writing about it. (For all intents and purposes, and I still wan't nothing to do with them, my abuser will be called "X") I was with someone, who didn't care. I was with SEVERAL someones who didn't care, at least about me. However, this one in particular had brought me lower than I have ever been. We met under incredibly ordinary circumstances, nowhere I would c
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From the album: Project Unbreakble
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Falling Down. The Break. The Beginning Of The End
Lacedwithpain posted a blog entry in Recovery Recorded from Step One
-hope to make this blog a cohesive record of my cognative processing therapy sessions and what goes on before them and after them. If they even help. This is the first entry more covering the emotions that brought me to needing therapy and trauma processing. As my sessions unfold I hope to have an entry for each session Jan 2oth 2016 Confusion is all I know. Insecurities are fortified strong. Ingrained to my core. Doubt dictates everything. Fear governs what remains. The experts tell me that the circumstances of my life have brought me here. That there was nothing I could do to avoid this -
Hello! I'm brand new here. Nervous! I imagine everyone is when they first come here. I am happy to have found after silence. Really in need of a safe place to communicate with people who understand how confusing everything is. My therapist recommended this site and said I might be able to find some encouraging people here. Hoping to meet some of you and draw inspiration from your courage.
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In my head I wrote this in the style of open mic poetry night sort of thing. But this one will never be spoken by me. I wish I could though, even if I just heard it out loud. I don't know how to really BE with someone anymore. Something subtle starts to grip my mind and wipes it clean it's the quietest scream I've ever felt. He was supposed to love me... and he was suposed to care for me... and he was supposed to know the most about me... I made it through the first "You were too young" "It could have been so much worse" "The memories are such a blur" I can still remember his daffy duck impre
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In the last year or so I've gained quite a bit of weight. I now have stretch marks all over because of how quickly I gained it. I didn't try to gain it it just kind of happened because I went off my medication for a while because I kept not getting to the doctor. I was afraid of the fact that I didn't have insurance. I used to look in the mirror and love myself but now I look in the mirror and I see something completely unattractive. I didn't wear shorter shorts this summer, I didn't wear my favorite sun dresses, I couldn't afford to buy all the cute new clothes I would have loved to be able t
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Hi there, I'm not going to give out my real name, but I am very new to all of this and am wanting to start my recovery process as soon as possible. I'm feeling a lot of conflicted things. I blame myself. Some moments I don't. I go through the what ifs and wonder if I'll ever return to normalcy. I'm looking to find others who can relate to my story and take their advice...and to not feel so alone. Anyways, I'm a 24 year old female and love riding horses, hiking with my dog, and hanging out with my friends and family. I'm also a recent college grad! Forgive me if this isn't a great introd
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I going to start this with the fact that I am survivor of multiple situations of sexual abuse and rape. It's been an issue for most of my life and there are days where I feel like I've brought it all onto myself. There are also days when I look at my current life and realize that I never asked for those things to happen. My story begins in my childhood. I grew up in a small town with little to no contact with other people my age other than family. My father was a jack of all trades who ended up becoming a mechanic to support us. My mother was a nurse but ended up in prison multiple times due
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I started the recovery process almost 25 years ago and rarely think about having been sexually abused. Twenty years ago, I wrote a book about recovering from sexual abuse but couldn't find a publisher. After retiring, I brought my manuscript out, revised and expanded it and got it published earlier this month. I want to help others recover and give them hope when they are going through the pain and suffering of the recovery process. I look forward to getting to know others here and providing support.
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I'm trying to write again in hope that it will unhinge something about myself that I haven't understood before. I was raped as a child, as a teenager and as a woman. There were things that happened to me that I don't understand the effects of just yet, but I hope that on this long overdue journey of recovery I will begin to understand, accept and move forward in one piece/peace. I am in a relationship now, he is a wonderful man with his own demons that he is battling. I have a 3 year old son from another relationship. It is the love that I have for these two boys that make me want to be bette
