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Found 9 results

  1. Celia

    Naive

    Friends, family, Maybe a bf for me. Anyone I like or am close to, I'm naive and can't breathe. When they ask me to do something, I do it without thought. Whatever makes them happy, Is all that really counts. Pic, or a selfie, Maybe audio or a snap. Everytime I try to say no, To them, it's a bunch of crap. They say they aren't unhappy, When I say no to them. Yet, the look on their face, Shows their patience cutting thin. And just as I am, Naive and not smart. I say yes to ever
  2. My head, The pain. My chest, The strain. My eyes, The game. My thoughts, The drain. There, What's that sound? Here, I wanna drown. Thoughts, Just wanna play. Games, Gonna stay. Memories, Through the day. Punishment, You must pay. Words, They're gonna say. Things, Once made. Sounds, Not to fade. School, Lots of grades. Home, Chaotic parade.
  3. Triggers: the unwelcome hand that flips the switch on a time machine and forces you back to moments you crave to forget. I never thought I'd fully grasp the meaning of it all until this year when I started putting the puzzle pieces together. Many of my strange foibles and reactions to situations over the last three decades now sit in the 'bigger picture' perfectly when I look at my jigsaw as the final image takes shape, but plenty are still a mystery. Over many years, even through childhood, certain songs and genres of music set me off into a spiral of tears, grief and panic. For as long
  4. So...this is my first post. It won’t be long...I have come back to this forum because of something that triggered me a few days ago...just watching a tv show. I was desperate to not act out on urges to self injure because of it. My brain likes to bring up those thoughts as a soothing thing I think, after so long not self harming, my brain tries to soothe me in the only way it knows how. I love being back here, despite the really hard stuff...I have such a hard time making friends, and this stupid quarantine, due to personal health issues, has had me stuck inside the house with my parents
  5. Darby25

    What if?

    Sometimes when I'm sitting alone, i think of what we may have been if you didn't break me. Would I fall in love with you? Would we still be friends? Would you have been my first, the person I fell hard for and gave it all up to? I know this thinking is dangerous and does nothing but upset me because I will never know. I will never know if your kiss made light up like fireworks in the sky. I will never know if my skin tingled with every touch. I will never know because you didnt give me any choice. You didn't allow me memories. I know all of this is silly, the thinking of a broken little girl w
  6. My cousin Chavo was 14 and I was 5.Him and I were left alone at home at night.I touched his genitals and made out. Almost got caught by his older brother Omar so he stuffed me under his covers I remember smelling his penis. Then hearing Omar step down the stairs. I don't remember anything after that...the next day he tickled me as usual but remember loving him so much. I would fantasize about him kissing my neck on top of my bed. I remember the Minnie mouse sheets and me wearing my favorite outfit it was a white skirt and top with a gold chain belt with a heart in the middle. Another cou
  7. Can I open up to you? The can of worms sat undisturbed on the top shelf in your bedroom But can I speak with you? Words left undone I’m overrun Gold thread left un-spun What is there left to do? The spindle lays down useless; how could we get stronger through this? I deserve to know what the goddamn truth is Or what truth may be today- But tomorrow it may change The heart is clay (washed away) As you present your sins in chains to be slain Finally I state: “Don’t insult my intelligence- for I have felt more deeply than you ever have in your moments of weakness.” To that, what would you say? Cl
  8. Evil ghosts of my past... A bitter lemon, once ripe and delicious - Once, a big part of my life - has dried out and rotted: lost it's vibrancy. Lost their power over me. Angels of my past... A cupcake, once moist and comforting - Once, always there for me - has hardened, dehydrated: grown bacteria. have grown apart from me. I can see these... ancient artifacts, decaying with each passing day - ancient memories - to take a bite now, to dwell on them now, undoubtedly would make me sick. would be nothing short of foolish. Memories, however positive
  9. VintageCrayon

    Family Ties

    Loved ones Move to heaven Photographs live on...
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