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Posts posted by Andrea58
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I am really struggling. My throat hurts because of the big lump in it. Tears are constantly clouding my eyes. I do not know why at the age of fifty the incest and child pornography hurt so much
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Hey 9456,
I am really sorry for what you've been through, it's so very wrong, but please know none of it is your fault and we're here to support you through this, AS is a lovely place where survivors support each others through both the good and bad times and find strength and validation from each other.
I hope you find AfterSilence a healing place to be, Welcome

Hi, John. I'm new to SA as well. I just posted on the site. I love your Gandhi quote. My son and I just watched the movie again last night.
Andrea58
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Hi, I am new to AS too. I'm scared especially since I am just learning how to operate and run a computer. It's been a slow process. However, it hasn't been nearly as agonizingly slow as the process of healing from childhood sexual abuse. At 50 I am beginning to try to accept that I will never fully heal but need to keep putting one foot in front of the other at all costs and learn how to live with complex PTSD. It's hard but I am making head way so I at least have hope inside me. The holidays are always hard because I have no contact what so ever with my family of origin. After what they did to me you would think I would be happy about that but I am not. It is breaking my heart. I do not have a support system. My therapist of ten years had to take a sudden and indefinite medical leave of absence and it hurts like hell. Are we allowed to say that? I did go to the Unitarian Church this morning. Everybody seemed nice and it was a super liberal place. Hopefully I can start making friends soon but I am scared. I haven't had any close friends since college. Now the isolation and loneliness is killing me.
Andrea
I'm New And Computer Illiterate
in Public: Welcome!
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Andrea