Siobhan_

@PlumSundae , thank you for saying that. It is a long and arduous process, and you are right, I am making progress, because inner child work had been close to impossible for me for a long time. It is frustrating that it is so slow, though.

@WannaMoveOn , you are absolutely right! I am not the only one in my family with a history of csa and avoiding this toxic side of the family made a huge difference and things definitely changed to the better for us.

Something I am not too good at yet is communicating well with my inner child. There is plenty of reason why, and there is more reason to get better at it. What has happened throughout this week is that I have basically not been able to tap into my inner child's feelings, if you know what I mean. ... If not, ok, maybe it sounds confusing. It is not always like it happened this week, so this is something I am struggling with now, but then again, we only recently begun to do more inner child work. Maybe it will become better again when I can talk it through in therapy next week. Hopefully. W

@WannaMoveOn , thank you, my healing journey was only possible because I have had this support from those who really matter to me. Blaming myself was something that I have been doing a lot about the things that happened in my 20s, and there is a part of our family that would happily chime in. But they do not matter anymore, I have no contact to them. They also had a hand in things that happened when I was much younger, so no. Thank you for believing me, it matters, and I appreciate this a lot!

@missfrier , thank you so much. I am glad to be here, and also like the friendly and compassionate atmosphere you can feel when reading in the forum.

@PlumSundae , thank you for saying that!

@WannaMoveOn , this is definitely true. I did not have to prove anything in my first incident because several of the perpetrators were caught in the act. But what happened in my twenties was completely different, and I believe I am responsible for some of it, in a way. Even if not, it does not change that you are forced through the motions of 'what did you wear', 'was it consensual', 'did you drink alcohol', 'have you always been a sl*t', or whatever nonsense people can come up with. It is awful, and just being in a place where you do not get this is a huge relief. Thank you for that. Yes

@selkiespot , thank you for the welcome, I am glad to be here.

@WannaMoveOn , thank you so much for your welcome, I really appreciate that. Yes, healing has definitely happened, and I totally agree that it is a rocky road, and you are absolutely right about feeling like we are spinning in circles. And a big thank you for saying you believe me. Hearing that really matters, I believe.

First entries are always the hardest, aren’t they? It is like this for me, and since this is only my third day here, I’ll just write a few things to get started. I am still trying to figure out how things are supposed to work here. Among all the silly things I have been doing, one of the most fruitless debates was whether what I experienced was really csa or if I maybe qualified as an adult, because I was 15 (only three days in, though) when things happened. And this does not have to make sense to anybody, however it was an important point for me to be recognized as an adult. I was no

@MeBeMary , thank you so much! What you say about the struggles is so true. And I am glad to have found this community, thank you for making me feel welcome!

@PlumSundae , thank you, I appreciate your kind reply.

I am 45f, and I am a survivor of sexual assault and abuse in my teenage years and early twenties. I have been in therapy for several years by now, but healing has been slow and arduous out of different reasons. I still have periods of time when I am struggling a lot with what happened. Nevertheless, things have changed to the better, especially over the last year, I am happy to say. I am glad to be here. 😊