Mimi M.

@Mendingrose, I so understand when you say, "what is missing is know you arent alone". I have been thru therapy on and off for some yrs and now have been in a recovery support group for 5 yrs. But only now have I been able to connect with actual survivors. For me, nobody else gets it. I tried to discuss it with a therapist or even some in my support grouo, it isnt the same as being able to talk about the CSA. That is why I really like this forum. -Mimi

@DarkestBeforeDawn, Hey there and welcome. I am somewhat new here too. it sounds like many things are starting to come up for you? Possible remembering things or at least seeing them in a new light (coming out of denial)? At any rate, I can identify with a lot of what you wrote about. I am married and also am having a particular hard time RN with him and all the stuff coming up for me. This place has been amazing so far. Beautiful people with beautiful stories of bravery and hope despite the horrors of what happened to us all. We are all here together. This place is safe. It i

@RubyRosie, I can really relate to it taking you out of your head. For the 1st time in my life I found my singing voice. It isnt bad either. It was buried. I unearthed it thu recovery. The abuse tried to kill it. I find singing gives me life now, so now I want to make it my whole life. Not sure how to do that yet.... Anyway, just love how creativity heals wounds❤ -Mimi

@RubyRosie, You seem to really have a spirit and passion for this creative outlet. Your art is beautiful to look at. Thx -Mimi

@RubyRosie, Talented art work. You are a very good painter. Thx for sharing 😊

Hello @WhatsInAName, Glad you found yourself here. I myself am finding much healing here as I listen to others and tell my own story. Everyone here is supportive and amazing; a wonderful place overall. Welcome. 😊 -Mimi

I love you, and you are so loved. Im sorry that the adults in your life didnt protect you and at worst, abused you and used you. My heart breaks when I think of the innocent angels that bore witness to such horrible things. WHY, WHY, WHY Higher Power did you let this happen!!!? I hate You for allowing this to happen. Make it make sense. Make it right. Cleanse me. Make me new again. Avenge us and let us see why so many have had to endure such horror. If You are who You say You are... Do something NOW, show me that You care about us

@Peace_out, Thank you for the kind words, and thanks for asking how its been. Since joining AS, I am finding a new level of understanding. I cant describe how helpful it has been to share and hear everyone's thoughts here. A found a missing piece of the puzzle, I think. Take care! -Mimi

justfloating, Words cannot describe; the writing is just amazing. That was powerful. Reading that helps give me my voice back. If I may share, the 1st paragraph feels like the writing was describing my life. The biggest f*ck you I gave my abusers was to follow my aspirations/dreams (after pulling myself together, started college later). And I did just that. They look so small now. It is NEVER too late. Start anytime you want. Take care. -Mimi

lanie, Wow, I loved that so much! I felt that. That was some powerful writing; raw and real. Straight to the point and brave, brave, brave! I love writing. It has been so helpful on my healing journey. I love it BC I can write whatever I want and nobody can take that from me. It makes me feel free. It gives me my voice back. Keep at it; its good stuff! -Mimi

who put their hands where they shouldnt be? making me squirm and wish i wasnt on your lap looking down at my brother, who is looking up at me brother, i think you were 2 years old you looked up at me with questioning eyes your eyes asked me: "why are you on his lap? what is happening to you? i dont like this." i looked down at you, brother i wished i was you why cant i be you brother? why cant i be a boy? if i was a boy, would i be on his lap? i feel wierd it feels good i dont want to be here i want to go home i want my

who rightfully owns this shame, ME or you (abusers)? lets explore this for a moment you (abusers) sought amusement by sexually abusing a 4/5 year old let that sink in was your wife not enough for your sexual pleasure? im not an advocate for prostitution (far from it!) but, could you not have turned to another consenting adult? sure, you would have had to pay for it, but you had plenty of money (at least somebody could have gotten financially compensated) is it that you are so sexually repulsive to another consenting adult? are you not aware that chi

well hello!! i would ask you how you are, but I already know miserable i was thinking about you though thinking about how pathetic it is to abuse the innocent for your pleasure there are so many other things in the world to make oneself feel good -sitting outside and feeling the sunshine on your bare skin -walking on the sand while listening to the crashing waves -feeling somebody melt into your arms when you hug (instead of freeze when touched) -the ability to look in the mirror at oneself and smile big out of the many beautiful things in this

my O is mine, and mine alone i can touch myself and make me O (wayyyyyyyy better than you ever did BTW) my husband touches me and gives me the best O i bet you thought you could take that away from me laugh out loud bc one of you is dead, and the other in a wheelchair now abusers, you are less than nothing now you destroyed yourself and im not sorry for you you hurt innocent angels and now you are suffering for it-NOT ME i am free. i am innocent. i am beautiful, i am loved and you are where you belong 💀🤡

I am new here and read your posts. I am so sorry that this happened to you. My heart breaks for another wounded heart. That took a lot of courage to get that paperwork going. That is awesome! I found that if I can find a safe space; a place or person that allows me to let my guard down, then I can start to process and make some sense of my next best action. Sometimes that action is nothing more than taking a nap or doing something that makes me feel good. I am rooting for you and may you have peace today. Thank you for sharing. I learn so much from other people. Have a wonderful da