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seong98

Member
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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    France

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  • MembershipType
    Survivor

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  1. Hello everyone ! How are you all doing ? I haven’t been here for a while , I was really busy with school and overall I was in a very bad place mentally . I thought about reaching out but I think I also needed some time alone . I’ve been slowly getting better and today I turned 23 . I don’t really care about my birthday , but I wanted to share my birthday wish with you . I wish for everyone here on AS , women , men and non-binary , to find a deep and everlasting love for themselves . I know how easy it is to let the self-loathing become the standard to how we see ourselves and how we think people see us . But it is not , all of you , no matter what you look like , are valid and beautiful . The scars physical or emotional will never take away the purity of your hearts and whoever destroyed or shattered your poor souls will never find solace . I wish for everyone to realize how important they are , how they matter , to me , to their friends , to their families , to their neighbors , their pets and anyone you have encountered who forgot to remind you how essential you are for them , not because they find you useful/helpful but simply because you are yourself . Which leads me to the last part of my wish (yeah it’s a long one) , I wish for everyone to realize that they are lovable ; I know we all struggle with this notion , often because we think “who could love me? There is nothing to love about me” I struggle with this too . But we are , there is so much to love about us , despite all your struggles and pain you are all so radiant . And again I wish for you to fall in love with yourself .

    I hope next year when I turn 24 , you will all come back to this little post , me included , and realize how much progress you have made . Wether it feels like stepping forward or backward it is still progress because healing isn’t linear . I hope when next year when I turn 24 , this pandemic will be over and you will all get much more stability when it comes to job , school , relationships (family , significant other , etc. etc.) and mental health . Whatever I do on my birthday , wether I’m eating a little cake or eating candies , I’ve always shared with others so I’m sharing with you all this little birthday wish , and I hope with all my heart it will become true (duh of course it will 🙄) . Take care everyone , love you all!

    (Oh and I know some survivors don’t celebrate birthdays because of their religious/spiritual beliefs , it’s okay my wish apply to you anyway HEHEHE , and sorry for the mistakes of course).

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. abhaya

      abhaya

      Happy birthday, @seong98!  Thank you for sharing your beautiful birthday wish for all of us (including you!).  May it come true! 🙂

    3. Butterfly2166

      Butterfly2166

      Hope you had a great birthday! I’m sorry you were struggling. I’m glad you are doing better now! Thank you for sharing your wish with us!

    4. seong98

      seong98

      Thank you all for the birthday wishes , sorry I’m so late to reply . It’s good to be back and see/hear from you all again and to meet new friends . I hope everyone is doing well , love you all 💕

       

  2. Struggling a lot tonight . Body memories , flashbacks and nightmares ... all I can hear is my mom saying « you reap what you sow » over and over ....

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. mini.finch

      mini.finch

      Sitting with you. :hug:I'm sorry you're struggling a lot tonight. Those words from your mom are absolutely not true. You are not at fault. Take it easy. Sending you support. ❤️

    3. seong98

      seong98

      Thank you all for the support and your kindness . I’m feeling a bit better today ; you are right these words are not true as I did nothing to bring this on me , it’s just really hard to hear these words coming from your mother . Again thank you all . I hope you are all doing okay 💕

      @Enigma87 @MeBeMary @AKB @mini.finch

    4. Lilyrose87

      Lilyrose87

      Whatever happened to you, know that it was never your fault. It’s difficult when parents aren’t supportive and kind. Sending you lots of love x

  3. seong98

    Just tired

    Oh @abhaya , we return you all this kindness you have sent our ways . Please take some time to take care of yourself . From your words I can feel your exhaustion, I hope you have counselor/therapist you can talk to about the violent flashback you’ve had . Listen to your body and your mind , we will be here to celebrate with you when you ovecome this and to support you whenever you feel like it’s too hard to do so . Sitting with you and sending love and kindness your way ❤️
  4. seong98

    So Lost

    Hello , I’m also very sorry for your loss , I know we all deal with grief differently and sometimes it takes years . I lost my grandfather few years ago and I’m still not completely over it . But eventually , sadly, you get used to it . You never forget them , there’s a bit of them everywhere but just know that she is now in a better place and looking out for you . I don’t know the whole story and maybe that’s why I don’t understand why you blame yourself but it’s not your fault . Not at all. Sending you all my best wishes and support and if you need to talk I will gladly listen . (
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