seong98

Hello everyone! Phew it’s been a while since I came to visit . I have good news tho I graduated with the the congratulations of the jury and earned my bachelor degree as well as my CAE from Cambridge . 
 

Although I’ve been doing okay for the past few weeks , summer is always hard for me . Today is the anniversary of my wedding , when my parents sold me to my rapist . I would be glad to have someone sit me with me through this . 
 

I apologize to all friends I haven’t messaged back in a while , I promise to come back to you shortly and I love you all dearly . 💓

Hello everyone ! How are you all doing ? I haven’t been here for a while , I was really busy with school and overall I was in a very bad place mentally . I thought about reaching out but I think I also needed some time alone . I’ve been slowly getting better and today I turned 23 . I don’t really care about my birthday , but I wanted to share my birthday wish with you . I wish for everyone here on AS , women , men and non-binary , to find a deep and everlasting love for themselves . I know how easy it is to let the self-loathing become the standard to how we see ourselves and how we think people see us . But it is not , all of you , no matter what you look like , are valid and beautiful . The scars physical or emotional will never take away the purity of your hearts and whoever destroyed or shattered your poor souls will never find solace . I wish for everyone to realize how important they are , how they matter , to me , to their friends , to their families , to their neighbors , their pets and anyone you have encountered who forgot to remind you how essential you are for them , not because they find you useful/helpful but simply because you are yourself . Which leads me to the last part of my wish (yeah it’s a long one) , I wish for everyone to realize that they are lovable ; I know we all struggle with this notion , often because we think “who could love me? There is nothing to love about me” I struggle with this too . But we are , there is so much to love about us , despite all your struggles and pain you are all so radiant . And again I wish for you to fall in love with yourself .

I hope next year when I turn 24 , you will all come back to this little post , me included , and realize how much progress you have made . Wether it feels like stepping forward or backward it is still progress because healing isn’t linear . I hope when next year when I turn 24 , this pandemic will be over and you will all get much more stability when it comes to job , school , relationships (family , significant other , etc. etc.) and mental health . Whatever I do on my birthday , wether I’m eating a little cake or eating candies , I’ve always shared with others so I’m sharing with you all this little birthday wish , and I hope with all my heart it will become true (duh of course it will 🙄) . Take care everyone , love you all!

(Oh and I know some survivors don’t celebrate birthdays because of their religious/spiritual beliefs , it’s okay my wish apply to you anyway HEHEHE , and sorry for the mistakes of course).

Struggling a lot tonight . Body memories , flashbacks and nightmares ... all I can hear is my mom saying « you reap what you sow » over and over ....