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abhaya

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Status Updates posted by abhaya

  1. abhaya

    After all this time, just now starting to feel anger... not sure what to do with that.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. abhaya

      abhaya

      Yeah, I really don’t have a roadmap here, and I can tell I am only scratching the surface right now. Thank you for sitting with me. 

    3. 8888

      8888

      I agree with Field8 that anger is scary.  I don't have any suggestions but would be happy to sit with you as well.  

    4. abhaya

      abhaya

      Thanks, @8888, I appreciate the support.  I wrote about it a little in the venting section... It's not constant, but it is really scary to start to feel it, like some sort of monster of the depths just below the surface... so far I'm okay, just not sure I want to process this.  

  2. abhaya

    Dentist appointment today, very triggered. Been struggling to be in  my body ever since. I am ok, and safe, but out of sorts. And very sore. 

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. abhaya

      abhaya

      Thank you dear friend, ❤️

    3. Field8

      Field8

      I hope that you start to feel better. Sitting with you passing the ice for your jaw/teeth

    4. abhaya

      abhaya

      Thanks, @Field8. I hate the whole process, even though my dentist is nice. Today i just couldn’t pull myself out of my body so it was really upsetting, even though i was trying hard to act like everything was “normal.” And the more distressed I got the more people started patting me and saying overly loudly and overly cheerfully “You’re doing great!!” 

  3. abhaya

    Grateful to be with a safe and caring partner now, celebrating 6 years since our wedding day.  🙂

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. abhaya

      abhaya

      Thank you friends! 

    3. Enigma87

      Enigma87

      Happy Anniversary!! 🥳❤️

    4. abhaya

      abhaya

      Yay!  We ordered brunch delivery, watched a bunch of our favorite movies, reviewed our wedding photo album, and started imagining how we want to celebrate our tenth anniversary in a few years (travel overseas if that's possible by then).

  4. abhaya

    I started another thread, this one is what songs help you in your healing journey.  I hope you add to the thread because I'd love to have more songs to listen to!

    1. abhaya

      abhaya

      it's in the creativity and healing part of the website.

  5. abhaya

    I wrote about my dental appointment yesterday, I know it's a lot of writing, but I could use a little support if folks would be willing to comment on it, please?

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. abhaya

      abhaya

      I don't mean to complain... I think I just feel so vulnerable sharing these things sometimes, and I know I write a LOT when I do... but then there's a part of me remembers what it was like to be invisible and I start to wonder if I've done something wrong or offended people....  I know that's not real, and that people here are good... but then I just feel so dang clingy and needy to want responses... <shrug> Anyway, I get myself all tangled and I know it's not necessary, just old programming... Thanks for listening and responding.

    3. BrightSide

      BrightSide

      Your not complaining your reaching for support - a sign of fighting to heal. Im glad you are!

    4. abhaya

      abhaya

      Thanks for the reframe, I've gotten pretty in my head about this one.  That's really helpful.

  6. abhaya

    Just made a post on the creativity board inviting folks to post any piece of art you feel proud of, I hope folks check it out and add to it!

  7. abhaya

    Just thinking how glad I am that I've found this community, and sort of amazed what an impact it's had over the last few weeks.  Thanks, friends. 

    1. snmls

      snmls

      I'm glad to hear that. This really is a wonderful community. 

  8. abhaya

    Today is the first anniversary of my father's death.  We had a difficult relationship at times, but he was a good person, and helped me become the person I am today. He was a firm believer in justice, the value of our shared humanity, and kindness --especially to children and animals. I miss him, and the world he believed in and tried to bring about.

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. abhaya

      abhaya

      Thanks, friends. 

    3. Enigma87

      Enigma87

      @abhayaI know this was a couple of days ago, but I wanted to make sure I expressed my condolences. :( I'm so sorry for your loss and hope you are faring well my friend ❤️❤️

    4. abhaya

      abhaya

      Thanks, everyone, for your kind words ❤️

  9. abhaya

    Well, I'm still having pain a week later, so I have to go back to the dentist tomorrow.... plus they have to re-do the impressions which I find overwhelmingly triggering.  Not looking forward to it at all.

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. abhaya

      abhaya

      me too!

    3. Field8

      Field8

      How did it go?

    4. abhaya

      abhaya

      Hard. It was really hard. Thanks for checking in. 

  10. abhaya

    getting increasingly frustrated with a work project.   🤬  Time for a break I guess.

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. abhaya

      abhaya

      Thanks @8888 and @mini.finch, yes!  I finally got it finished and posted late in the day yesterday.  Phew!

      Thanks for the encouragement and support!

    3. Finchy

      Finchy

      Congrats! I'm glad you got it finished!! 😄

    4. 8888

      8888

      So happy to hear that!

  11. abhaya

    Hello May. You bring flowers, and lovely weather, and one of my biggest traumaversaries. Deep breath. No wonder I’ve been having nightmares again. I hate this. 

    1. Finchy

      Finchy

      Sending you safe hugs and tons of support during this difficult time. ❤️ 

    2. WendyAlone

      WendyAlone

      Sending support. Comforting thoughts :hug:heading over to you.

    3. abhaya

      abhaya

      Thank you friends.  I really appreciate it.

  12. abhaya

    Hi friends, sorry I disappeared for a few months, life got overwhelming,  but I am okay. I hope you are too. 

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. abhaya

      abhaya

      Hi! <blushing> thanks for the warm welcome back, I was feeling embarrassed to disappear like that. I am truly sorry if I hurt anybody’s feelings. 

    3. BrightSide

      BrightSide

      You never have to appologise AS is here as and when you need it. Obviously we missed you but you must always put your needs first 💜❤💛💚❤💙

    4. abhaya

      abhaya

      Thanks, @BrightSide, that means a lot. 💛

  13. abhaya

    Holy crap!!!! I publicly confronted my abuser over facebook today!!! I didn't realize I had it in me!!!

     

    1. abhaya

      abhaya

      Here's the post about it:

       

       

    2. Finchy

      Finchy

      :clap::clap::clap::clap:

    3. abhaya

      abhaya

      Thank you @mini.finch! 💛💛💛

  14. abhaya

    Spring term started and I'm teaching more, but it means I'm super dooper busy.  So please know that I love you all, and I'm thinking of you, and I'm okay (for the most part) and I may be only here ever so often until June-ish.

    1. Finchy

      Finchy

      Best wishes for the spring term. ❤️ Thank you for sharing your love with us. We're thinking of you, too!! *safe hugs*

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