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About Celia

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    💙🌸 Be Yourself 🌸💙

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    Listening to music and writing poems.

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  1. Well.  In three days (two days in two hours), I'll be gone with other family members for two weeks.  I hope I don't get triggered there.  My family there knows I've been abused.  What will they do?  This is the first time they're seeing me since they found out everything!  Not details, of course.  Will they ask me for details? 🥺🥺 I'm concerned and worried, but excited... but scared.  My anxiety hates this right now. 😣😣

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Free2Fly


      Your welcome, hope your doing okay tonight/day. :)

    3. Celia


      Thank you, but unfortunately, I'm doing very badly.  Thank you for caring though.  I hope you're well.  

    4. Free2Fly


      I'm sorry your doing badly, sitting with you hope stuff gets better.

      I'm okay I guess, thank you for asking.

  2. Celia


    Same. I'm very sorry that you and many others can relate. It's heartbreaking.
  3. Celia


    Thank you 🥺😔
  4. How am I supposed to be myself? When everyday I'm told to be like someone else. Always criticized and daily insulted Just for being who I am inside, that's it. I am my own enemy, Always listening to everyone and everything. Wanting to be perfect, Or at least accepted for myself. But I'm talked to like I should be someone else. Although, all the inspiring speeches told, They say you're perfect inside and out. They say to be yourself, it's okay to cry, But sometimes I feel like that's just a lie. If that were t
  5. He will never be forgiven nor loved by me ever again. 


    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Celia


      @MeBeMary 🥺😔 It's not my painting, I just really like it.  That's true, I never realized it.  I hope I can.  I've been self-harming recently.  Nothing beautiful about that. 

      It's always okay, thank you.

    3. MeBeMary


      I'm so sorry you are struggling. It's so unfair. Butterflies are one of those symbols that I think are hopeful and inspiring, just like the lotus or a phoenix. 

      Keep fighting against those urges. I know it is not so easy, but keep reminding yourself to keep fighting. You deserve better and I want you to keep reminding yourself of that. 

      More hugs and wishing you the best to overcome these undeserved struggles. :hug:  

    4. Celia


      @MeBeMary  Thank you very much.  I will try to remember that. 🌺🌺. Butterflies do seem very free.  I think I'd think that as the same equivalency as flying in a plane or being a pilot.  

  6. They say God is real They say he is alive But really floating above Saying everything is alright Saying that he has a plan For each and one of us Saying he is the protector And the father to all of us But let me ask a question Like… where has he been Wasn't here during past years Or even when I was a kid Left me alone Even though he knew He knew the truth of everything Yet gave no one a single clue If he was beside me During the entire time Why didn't he stop him Why di
  7. All this pain, Inside my head. I'm nearing an end, I might end up dead. I have an idea, That'll cost my life. But it's worth it for family, I must do the fight. The fucking bastard, Yea, the sexual abuser. I'm done with everything, No one doing nothing. I'm gonna fight, And by that, let's see. I know how to use a gun, I know where he sleeps. I'm gonna show up, Make sure he's awake. Look him in the eyes, Point the gun in his face. Say, "Goodbye, it's time t
  8. Of course, thank you 🙏🏻🌺
  9. Been hurt so much, Been lied to in the face. Bullied all around, Pushed all over the place Met many people in person, Seems most of them are fake. How come I get the bad people? How come I get hurt by the stake? Society is bad, So is the people. It's to the point, I've given up on visuals. When my family says, "Make some friends!" I ask myself, "What will it take?" I have some real friends, They're online. But to them, That doesn't cut the line. In person,
  10. Indeed, yea 😔😔 Okay 🤧🤧
  11. I'm sorry you recognize my pain. That's unfortunate. 😔😔 And of course, I appreciate it. Thank you. 🙏🏻😔
  12. Where do I even start..... 😔😔 All these memories, Inside my head. It makes me mad, Makes me wanna be dead. I don't know what to say, So, I cry myself away. Hopefully it's enough, To drown my mind for the day. All this anger, All this pain. I wanna make it stop, Everything is so gray. No light, no sound, It's a dark place here. Where's myself? I can't see clear. I'm slipping away, Upon these tears. It's not my fault, I didn't choose the years. Abuse
  13. I'm broken, damaged, scarred, triggered, and hurt. :cry::cry: Can someone please talk to me?  I need a friend, anyone.


    *In a very bad place* 😔😔

    1. Show previous comments  13 more
    2. Celia


      I live with them. 


      Okay 😭😭

    3. Free2Fly


      Many safe hugs to you friend :hug:, sitting with you.

    4. Celia


      🙏🏻😔 thank you, to you as well

  14. I lost another friend, Here I go again. Guess what, it isn't new, I blame myself again. I'm at fault for the disaster, I'm at fault for losing my friend. He was like a brother to me, But admittedly, a jerk.. something. He would be nice to me, Treat me like his sister. But sometimes then he jokes around, Acts inappropriate and acts sinister. But everytime I'd confront, He'd laugh and tell me to chill. He'd say I'm being overdramatic, And they were just harmless jokes (to him). Now it's fi
  15. Really bad place right now.  I've been doing severe SH and can't stop.

    1. mini.finch


      Oh no. :( I'm so sorry, Celia. *safe hugs if ok* Please take care of yourself. Treat your wounds if you have any, and stay safe. I know it can be very hard. Do you have a therapist to talk to? Or anyone else you can confide in? We're here for you. Try to do things that you enjoy to take your mind off. You are loved and appreciated.

    2. Celia


      I always appreciate hugs.  I am somewhat taking care of the wounds.  I used to have a therapist, but not anymore and I can't ask for another one.  Thank you 

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