[Upset has turned to anger!]

Hi I just joined today. I am feeling the same way as you. I get flashbacks as well and also get scared. I am also in a very similar situation as you. I also confided early on with my now boyfriend of my experiences because I knew, or was scared that, it would present issues later on in our relationship on my part. I also realized years after the incident what had actually happened and that it was not my fault. I feel for you and want you to know you are not alone

[I’m new here]

I am not sure if I am posting correctly. But Hi, I guess I’ll go by T here please. My experiences were about 5 years ago. The worst one still affects me to this day in my relationship of 2 years and in my every day life. Ranging from panic attacks sourced from reoccurring memories or full on mental breakdowns from all of my emotions triggered by the flashbacks to issues with my current s*x life. It greatly affected my social life, my personal relationships, my home life, familial relationships- everything. I never dealt with the trauma because I never knew how to. I was seeing a therapist at the time but I told her nothing about the incidents because I was scared that she might tell my mother because at the time I was a minor and that my mother would get mad at me for it all. I also recently had a conversation with my mom about the president and the allegations against him. I asked her if I told her that someone who was running for office had taken advantage of me, would she believe me or still vote for them and she said that she would need proof from me first. To hear that from my own mother as a survivor was one of the most heartbreaking things she has ever said to me. I am with a therapist now, and I have informed her of my experiences, but she says the only solution is to pretend like my offender is sitting in a chair and “give him a piece of my mind” and to tell him how I feel about him and etc. When I told her that I don’t think that will help me and asked if there was anything else I could do, she basically told me no. Which is just another let down. I am feeling more hopeless than ever. I am stuck with this trauma and have absolutely no idea how to process it, deal with it, or most importantly heal from it. I have come here from a crisis counselor post on reddit. I am searching for something, anything that could help me get through this constant itch in my brain.