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taco_lover

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  1. taco_lover

    I want to tell my boyfriend about the assault/abuse, but I don't know if I should, and also not how I would do it.
    Could someone who has experience or advice on this message me? 💛

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. taco_lover

      taco_lover

       I do hope telling him would be positive! But I think I might wait a little more - at least until I'm in a safer environment. Once I can actually deal with it, I think it will be easier to tell him? I don't know, but I think right now it would be too much for me, if he knew.
      It just feels like I go from wanting him to know to wanting to tell no-one ever again in the matter of days, or even minutes.

      Thank you for reaching out and for sitting with me, Cap. I appreciate it greatly. 💛

    3. Capulet

      Capulet

      No problem!!!  I do think that you bring up another good and valid point - telling/sharing is ALWAYS best when you're in a safe place, mentally, physically and emotionally.  If you're lacking in any of these areas, it's probably in your best interests to wait to tell him.  I agree with you there.  Good for you for putting yourself first!!! :)  That's spot-on, and exactly what we should all do.  We must not jump into anything that we might not be ready for, so I'm glad you've recognized that not being ready may be a possibility.  There's nothing wrong with that.  In building up to telling him. perhaps you COULD let him know that you'd like to share some things with him someday, and perhaps this will help you to gauge a little bit how receptive he might be to some of the harder things - or even to prepare him for some of it?  Just my two cents...but I think you're already on the right track. :)  - Cap

    4. taco_lover

      taco_lover

      I appreciate your two cents! Thank you! 😊

      I'm not really in a safe place right now - in none of these aspects. I'm not in imminent danger, but I'm also not safe. I'm going to be moving though, with one of my best friends. I'm confident living with her will help me be in a much safer/more stable place.
      And I'm trying to put myself first with this! Thank you for encouraging me! 😃

      Quote

      perhaps you COULD let him know that you'd like to share some things with him someday

      I was actually thinking about telling him something like that. He knows that I have panic attacks (he's helped me through a few, and he did a good job!), so I could tell him the reason for those without going into detail.

      I think I'm going to just, let the thought sit in my mind for a day or two, see how I feel about it. Taking it step by step. 🙂

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