purge

are you the same way too?

your mental illness is welcome here you that feels alienated, neglected and left behind is welcome here you that feels completely invisible and pushed aside, unsure even of whether you exist or not, is welcome here

one day, i don't want to have to lie anymore one day, i want to be able to say to others what i'm thinking i don't want to have to modify my thoughts and words to please them anymore i want to actually say what it is i'm thinking without fear of how it will be perceived, or negative consequences i want to say what i feel and what i'm thinking without having to fear the consequences

it saddens me incredibly that you prefer and only acknowledge the existence of your fantasy of me instead of the human person that i am it's like i'm not a human being in your eyes just what's convenient for you

you took my trust and crushed it in your hand all along the only thing you thought of was yourself

i don't owe you my trust

you never know who a person is

so many different ways to avoid direct human connection i don't trust you

to blow you away to blow you sky high

am i really sinking this low?

i want to be a part of the human race

i'm not part of your elite, i'm just alright class structures waving colours, bleeding from my throat

wtf is wrong with you

fuck you and fuck your bullshit apology you can shove it up your ass

i'm a defect, surgical project 'you'll only be happy if you look a certain way' i want to be okay

all we have in this world when it spins, when it swirls when it whirls, when it twirls

why would you promise me all these things and then leave? why would you promise to stay and then leave me? why would you promise to do anything and then give up on me? why? you said you'd marry me i can't take another person leaving another person that made promises and broke them why does no one ever seem to stay? 'i'll do anything for you to see you smile' you said i could trust you you let me down.

i'll never forget it, i sat up the whole night crying

please, i'm begging you, please, don't leave me i cannot take losing another person i cannot do it

it's okay, you can do this