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  1. Kham


    The last few days I have felt like my brain is attacking me. My body feels distant, it's like I'm floating when I walk. Been indulging in sh, which is not good, but it really brings me back and puts my feet on the ground. It also brings a welcome sense of calm. I should eat more. I know it's a warning sign when I forget to eat or just can't be bothered to make it happen. Especially because when I'm me, I love food 😉 I'm not sure what else to add, but felt I should use something as a sounding board. I don't really feel real right now, and haven't for the past day or so. I don't know
  2. Kham


    So I'm going to leave the last post up, I guess. It was actually the third one I wrote, but I deleted the previous two out of fear and anxiety. I've only ever had one good therapist, and in fact she was amazing. I told her some things that happened to me, but it was always highly sanitized. And she was great because she knew I was holding plenty back, but she let me go at my own pace and never tried to force me to discuss things I didn't want to. And whenever I got overwhelmed, she let me change the subject so I didn't walk out "a mess," as she said. I never cried in front of her, though there
  3. It sounds like you have been through so much. You seem strong for having made it through what you have, and I admire that you continue to be there for your children. You have the ability to tell the stories you want about your brother now - since he's not here you're the keeper of his memory. Sending you warm thoughts.
  4. Kham

    Something else

    I've been using this site for a week or so now. It has felt really liberating. There's something great about saying things I hold onto that are true, but that I don't think anyone in my life should hear. Like the csa or physical abuse, it's something I want to express, to feel heard or validated I guess, but that I don't want to burden the people I love with. So, in that spirit, I'll use this platform to express something else that I've harbored forever. I have had gender dysphoria for as long as I can remember, since I was 4. Sometimes it has been really severe, and sometimes less. I hav
  5. Kham


    Hi, new to the site.
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