hardlywalking

Mother's day and my mother's birthday are the worst. Trying to find a card that says. "Well, you were kinda awful, but lets move on". Never seem to find that perfect card. Do whatever you have energy to do and leave the rest behind. You should never wear her guilt.

My heart hurts for you Connor. I'm starting to separate my past from my future, but it would be very difficult when they are still around.

Thanks for sharing your story. It does help to have a connection with someone, and I do know how you have felt when pretending to be unaware of what was happening. I never thought of keeping the truth from an adult as secret. I thought of it as a lie. I became a great liar, and started to lie about everything. I told my classmates I had the beautiful room with pink carpet and a four poster bed. My abusers laughed when I said I would tell. Maybe that's why I started to lie about stupid stuff. Maybe I was checking to see if anyone would believe me. I'm not sure if writing this down helps me, as

i'm sorry to hear people think you made up your abuse. I am surprised to hear that people don't realise how we can block some of our worst memories. It is a form of survival strategy. Our minds only hold what we can handle. I have lost large parts of my life. Honestly, the last 2 years of my life are a blur. I know it sometimes is hard to go forward, especially when ignoring the past used to work. The memories are just snips of a moment because that is all we can handle. Believe in yourself.