RisingLotus615

I am so sorry that happened to you

It was not your fault. you did not let it happen. He did this to you. I am so sorry you are going through this. We are all here for you. Congratulations on not self injuring for 3 years!

That is great! seems like you have good supports.

I am so sorry he violated your privacy. Are you able to change your living situation so you no longer have to be with him?

He said it was a game. A secret game. I was 9 and my sister was 7. He, my brother, was 12. There had been a lot of change in the family in a short time. We moved to a different part of town with different schools. My mom went back to work and my dad went back to school to study for a new career. As a child, everything felt chaotic. My parents were so busy with work and school that it felt as though they did not have time for us anymore. I felt lonely, isolated, and less than. I was a weird kid and had very few friends before the move. After we moved, I had no one. One evening

Is there anything i can do to help support you? seems like you are having a really hard time right now.

For me, the emotions came later. I was able to recall pieces of memories from the abuse and had no feelings attached. It was as if it happened to someone else. slowly, with lots of therapy, i was able to integrate the emotions with the memories and move forward in my healing. Best of luck on your healing journey

I am not sure how to begin writing. The perfectionist in me wants to ensure I sound eloquent, creative, interesting, and intelligent. The voice in my head is telling me that nothing I write will be good enough. It will not have any value so why even bother. The voice is telling me I will fail. The fear of failure is paralyzing. It keeps me stuck. I cannot promise that my blog will be a work of art. However, I can promise it will be honest and authentic. I am writing this blog for myself. I am writing in order to process and heal from my trauma. In the fall of 2009, I was a