fawkes&

I don’t know if it’s possible to forgive a man who raped you, destroyed your life. Or a man you loved, abandon you. Both of whom caused me so much pain, I know right now that is certainly a concept that I can not imagine. But, what I can imagine is letting the anger go. I believe holding onto anger, is imprisoning yourself in a cell where you hold the key yet won’t unlock the door. I find myself grieving over my ex boyfriend, I find it difficult to accept that the man I loved, who I created so many beautiful memories with caused me so much suffering, so I don’t. I have managed to convince myse

When I read back and I think about what I have been through, it hurts, it causes me great pain. I guess I try and pretend to myself that not all of it was real, that it didn't happen that rather it was perception of my imagination. But, the truth is it was my reality, and it still is. You can’t hide from the pain, because if you do, you block yourself off from feeling the happy moments where doctors go out of their way to help you, where nurses great you with warm smiles, where counsellors and friends are always always there for you, the feeling you get when you receive the best hug, the times