GentleDiplodocus

Thank you all so much for your replies. I really needed to hear that I have a right to feel traumatised by what happened. That sounds weird, but I guess the fact that I only hated it half of the time or only allowed myself to hate it and feel scared half the time has always made me feel like it’s my fault. And I know that’s really common among r* survivors but I’ve just always felt like I don’t count as a survivor so it really means a lot to me to be welcomed here and told my feelings are valid

Hello there, I’m 24 and live in the UK. Without going into detail I was abused from the age of 8 to 18. I feel weird even just saying that though. “Abused” What happened to me wasn’t violent and I always just froze and let it happen. There were even times (and I feel such shame admitting this) when I thought it was grown up and exciting even if a little scary, so I feel like when I say “abused” I’m lying somehow or belittling the experiences of people who did suffer violence. Also, he was only ten when it started so I don’t even feel fully comfortable blaming him, although this happened