ASnow

It has been some time since my last blog entry. My therapist noticed somehow in the last few months, after 18 years of therapy with him, I was somehow getting better. That I had told him more about my grandfather's sexual abuse as a child in the last few months then I had in the entire 18 years he had known me. He took no credit, my psychiatrist took no credit. I think It all boils down to activity in this site. I have opened up for the first time. And though it's just typing, I know there are warm people actually reading it. I started a dream journal, and a journal to talk to my alters. The e

So for the last two nights I have been having dreams about my oldest freind from childhood J*. The first dream I didn't write down specifics but I remember some things and then last night again. IN the first dream She and I were upsate at my gradfathers where it all happened. And in the second dream it started there though it ended where I was at her house. When I was older I dated her brother and we had a dog that I loved with every part of me. In both dreams J* was sick, not physically, and I was trying to help her get through the issue and then I saw the dog and she came to me. The dog ma

Thank you. Venting helps.

My Hell started when I was 4 when my grandfather had started to sexually abuse me. It went on for years. Infact it went on until he died when I was about 12. I probably spent a year finally feeling free. I always dissociated during the abuse, so what happened I did not remember, but the fear and icky feelings were there and I knew I did not want to be near him, though I knew not why. however about a year after he died I blocked that off too so the entire abuse was lost to my awareness. Infact I rememeber my slightly older cousin dragging me in my room one day at a holiday event and asked me if

hi, sorry to hear about what happened. I am new here too and have found it very helpful so far. welsome ot the group!

@LookingfortheSun Hi, I'm new here too. Welcome to the group! Everyone is so supportive here, I think you will find it helpful

Hi @itsmev I am new here as well. I am sorry to hear about what has happened to you. It has been my place to start as well. There are many great people here and a lot of information to help. It's also a great place to vent. ☺ welcome to the group!

thank you everyone. I look forward to being a member and talking and learning.

Hi, I am new to the group. When I was a young child my grandfather sexually abused me until he died. I spent many years not recalling it at all. And I leRned how to dissociate. Later in life rape became a recurring theme on my life. I'm sure I put myself in daNgerous situations. I bipolar in remission now but when I was manic my judgement was way off. During one I remembered what my grandfather did, up until the point when I would dissociate. I have been in therapy since I was 6 and I finally seem to be getting somewhere. My life has been ruled by what he did and I don't want it to ha