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Enigma87

Member
  • Content Count

    1,445
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    USA
  • Interests
    Fine/Digital Art, Music, Dancing (esp. Latin), Tech, Animals

Previous Fields

  • MembershipType
    Survivor

Recent Profile Visitors

5,675 profile views
  1. Hope your doing okay? Safe hugs :hug: If ok?

    1. Enigma87

      Enigma87

      Hey @Free2Fly Yes, thank you for the safe hugs :hug: & thank you for checking in on me. I’m hanging in there. Been feeling a bit disconnected lately, but I’m okay. I hope you are okay :) 

    2. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Hey, no problem :) .

      Glad your hanging in there, sorry you've been feeling like that . :hug:

  2. Feeling really down today 😞

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. feralcat

      feralcat

      💜🌻💜🌻💜

    3. Enigma87

      Enigma87

      @Free2Fly@mini.finch@MeBeMary@feralcat

      Thank you all for your support - for the hugs and for sitting with me. You have no idea how reading/seeing your responses makes me feel right now, after such a rough day. ❤️❤️❤️

    4. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      @Enigma87, your welcome friend, I hope stuff gets easier for you.

  3. Life is really hard lately. I just feel so alone. On the outside, I appear calm to everyone. On the inside, I am screaming. I keep numbing the pain so I don't feel so lonely or stuck. Sometimes ending it all seems like an easier option. I promised my T today that I would keep trying though. It just feels like too much sometimes.

    1. Show previous comments  10 more
    2. abhaya

      abhaya

      I know that I'm late in adding this, but I want to say that I care very much about you, and that my life is better for knowing you. 

    3. Enigma87

      Enigma87

      Thanks friend @Free2Fly ❤️
       

      @abhaya Aw... you made my eyes water reading your words. Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️

    4. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Your welcome, hopefully life will give us a break soon.

  4. Hiya I just wanted you to know I haven’t forgotten you and that I’m thinking of you. Sorry I haven’t been the most supportive friend. Hope you’re doing ok, love. -L

    1. Enigma87

      Enigma87

      @behindthesehazeleyes Oh friend, please don’t worry! I’m not thinking badly about you at all. I’m so glad to hear from you! I’m hanging in there. I hope you are okay! Feel free to PM me if you want ❤️❤️❤️

  5. I just had a rough therapy session today. 😢 My traumaversary is coming up this Saturday. I'm feeling a lot of anger, sadness, and shame. I'm not sure how to handle it all.

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. abhaya

      abhaya

      Sending you so much support and kindness, @Enigma87.  I know how painful that shame is and I also feel 100% certain that it was not your fault.  You did not deserve what happened and you do not deserve blame for it.  Safe virtual hugs to you, friend. ❤️

       

    3. Enigma87

      Enigma87

      @abhaya Aw thank you for your kind and encouraging words, as well as the hugs! :hug:❤️ You have no idea how much I needed to hear that today. Thank you my friend 💕

    4. Anonymous4
  6. Feeling lonely... It’s no one’s fault but my own though. I hope everyone is doing okay. I’m sorry i haven’t been around much. I’m sending out hugs and support to you all ❤️❤️❤️

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. mini.finch

      mini.finch

      *lots of support and hugs* We're here for you, Enigma. :hug:

    3. Enigma87

      Enigma87

      @abhaya @mini.finch Thank you both. I appreciate all of your support, friendship, kindness, and hugs. I really needed it. I’m here for you both also. ❤️❤️❤️:hug:

    4. abhaya
  7. Hey @sunflowers88! Welcome to AS! I am in my early 30s also. This community has been such an integral part in my healing. I'm sorry for all the abuse you have been through. I hope you find AS to be just as wonderful and supportive as I have. Sending you support and friendship! ❤️
  8. Having a really hard time right now. Can't stop crying. I feel so alone.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. mini.finch

      mini.finch

      *sending you extra hugs and support* :console:

    3. redadmirals

      redadmirals

      I'm sorry you are struggling, friend :( Sending safe hugs too if OK

    4. Enigma87

      Enigma87

      @MeBeMary @Poppy_ @mini.finch @redadmirals

      Thank you all so much for your support. I appreciate the hugs and you sitting with me. Your kindness means so much to me. :hug:❤️💕

  9. Struggling right now... My sister’s friend was SA’ed on her way home tonight. I’m trying to help, but I’m triggered and feel helpless. :cry: Not going to sleep well tonight.

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Poppy_

      Poppy_

      Sitting with you, friend. :throb: You're not alone. 

    3. Enigma87

      Enigma87

      @Iheartcupcakes @Poppy_ Thank you both so much for your support. ❤️:hug:She filed a police report last night. It was her Uber driver that attacked her. So I take it the police are tracing things back to him. Idk... In any case, I will encourage her to come on AS. 💕

      @Free2Fly Yea, I know this isn't the first time she's been SA'ed like many of us. However, she is understandably shaken up. I am still emotional about it not just for me and my experience, but because I know how it feels to be SA'ed when under the influence by someone you just met. It's so heartbreaking. 💔

    4. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Yeah Idk how to keep faith in this world of ours :(

      Hope they are okay and you are too.

  10. Tension at home again. It never ends. I’m so tired of pretending everything is okay. Gotta move out. 😓

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Enigma87

      Enigma87

      @Capulet Aw thank you so much friend. I haven’t forgotten about you btw. I will be PMing you soon :hug:

    3. redadmirals

      redadmirals

      Sending strength to you. I can relate. We are all here for you.

    4. Enigma87

      Enigma87

      @redadmirals thank you friend 🥰 I appreciate you sending strength. I can certainly use it! It’s also nice to know you can relate. I will message you soon also. ❤️:hug:

  11. Enigma87

    Today.

    @aprilbaby49 Gosh, I am so moved by this... It’s inspiring to read. I admire the self-respect you have and the determination to put the blame where it belongs - solely on him. I support you wholeheartedly. Sending you much care and support. 💕
  12. Hey there girl, I’m back online and wanted to say hi. I hope you’re doing well.

    1. Enigma87

      Enigma87

      Hey girl! @behindthesehazeleyes I’m so glad to hear from you ❤️ I’ve been okay. Hanging in there as best as I can. I’ll definitely PM you.

  13. Anxious. In shock. Can’t sleep. Bad flashbacks

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Enigma87

      Enigma87

      @Abigail2020 Aw thank you so much 💕I really appreciate the hugs :hug:

    3. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Sending you hugs if ok friend, hang in there💜

    4. Enigma87

      Enigma87

      @waterlily13 Aw thank you ❤️ I’m trying... I appreciate the support friend.

  14. @wolfennights Hmm, I’ll have to check this out! Thanks for the recommendation! & don’t feel embarrassed... I think many of us watch shows like that. I know I do... especially when I am super anxious and depressed or cannot quiet my thoughts related to trauma. My dad got angry with me tonight and it triggered some trauma from my past. So now I’m in my room watching SpongeBob, drinking milk, and eating candy, with my stuffed “build-a-bear” polar bear from my preteen years. Lol - so don’t feel bad 😉😊
  15. Enigma87

    I hate the Night

    Oh wow @13rose... this is so powerful, and relatable. I am so sorry the night haunts you in this way. I feel similarly about the night and my traumas. The part you mentioned about being sucked into a time loop feels so true when I’m in bed at night. I’m not sure what to say really. I just want you to know I admire your strength as a survivor, in what you have been through, and being able to communicate and express your feelings in this way. Although sad, you wrote this so beautifully and powerfully. Thank your for sharing. I am sending you kindness and support, as well as sitting with you if y
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