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waterlily13

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  • Content Count

    911

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Interests
    horses, writing, healing

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  • MembershipType
    Survivor

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20,248 profile views
  1. asparkofcourage started following waterlily13
  2. waterlily13

    I got triggered badly a couple weeks ago and I'm struggling.  I drunk emailed my therapist last night, and I'm home not feeling well today from work.  Could use safe hugs and support, just really struggling right now💔

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Doll6

      Doll6

      Sitting with you 

    3. snmls

      snmls

      Sending a hug your way. 

    4. GreySock

      GreySock

      Sending you a hug too.

      I get triggered very badly at times. I've recently discovered the Crappy Childhood Fairy's YouTube channel, she has a phrase I love: 'hamster wheel thoughts'! I've had a couple of bad nightmares lately, and during the day, at least once a day, I get 'attention' from men... Why won't they leave women alone? It sometimes derails me for the rest of the day, or of the evening, and if I'm at work, it makes me really angry and I can't focus and make mistakes. 

  3. waterlily13

    I need big, safe hugs today if anyone has any to spare, my heart hurts:cry:

    1. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      Absolutely!!! I have many hugs for you @waterlily13...and for as long as you need them!!!

      :comfort::friends2:   :hug:    :console:    :bighug:   :console:   :hug: :friends2:   :comfort:

    2. snmls

      snmls

      Offering up the biggest hug I can. 

    3. Finchy

      Finchy

      Sending you lots and lots of safe hugs. ❤️ :hug:

  4. waterlily13

    I feel like a burden, I don’t know where to go or look to find something to soothe the pain I’m feeling😓I have T tomorrow and I’m really looking forward to it, I’m just in a funk I can’t seem to get out of😓would love sitters and good vibes if anyone has any to share…..

    1. Show previous comments  8 more
    2. Doll6

      Doll6

      Of course @waterlily13

    3. Capulet

      Capulet

      Hope all is going as well as can be expected, friend - sending you positivity and lots of love. ❤️ 

    4. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      @Capulet thank you so much friend❤️❤️❤️I’m struggling a lot this week and I don’t know why, I have T tomorrow and I’m glad, I just want to stay home and hibernate😴😞

  5. waterlily13

    I can’t get out of bed this morning😞

    1. ActivistAlly

      ActivistAlly

      I'm sorry to hear that you can't get out of bed.  I hope things get better soon.   Safe hug if okay.  😟:bighug:

    2. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you❤️It is so very appreciated, I’m doing a little better after a day of rest, it’s just been a hard few weeks :(

  6. waterlily13
    Sending you so much love friend, I haven't been on much, lots of triggers and PTSD things happening (can relate to the fogginess) but I'm think of you and sending you lots of safe hugs (if ok), and healing and peaceful energy. So so grateful for you in my life, and SO excited about your upcoming marriage!!! Hang in there, you bless so many people every day, I'm grateful I know you!!❤️
  7. waterlily13

    I am overwhelmed, I need hugs :( 

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      Plenty of hugs to spare. :hug: :bighug: :hug: 

    3. Finchy

      Finchy

      Sending you lots of hugs. :hug:

    4. Field8

      Field8

      Big hugs :bighug:

  8. waterlily13

    I had a really, really bad night last night.  Bad trigger, then awful, awful nightmares.  I'm too embarrassed to write about the triggers, I feel so ashamed.  I need support😞

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you so much @Free2Fly @MeBeMary and @mini.finchI slept better last night so that's good, I'm so tired lately.  I'm trying to be kind to myself but it's hard.  The trigger was hard, and the memory it triggered from the night of my assault...I'm just so ashamed of:(I'm gonna try to talk about it with T, but I have a feeling I'll dissociate.  It's so hard carrying this :(

    3. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      I know it's hard to believe, but the shame is NOT yours. I hope talking to your T helps. Remember that you are braver than you know. If you don't believe it yourself, try to take my word for it. 

      Will pocket-ride when you go see T. Supporting you. :hug:  

    4. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      It's okay lilly, glad you got to sleep better.

      Hope you can give yourself time to find comfort from this.

      Still sitting with if needed and safe hugs :hug:if ok?

  9. waterlily13

    Drunk more and more often lately, it feels better not to feel💔

    1. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      Sending you support. Very sorry you are struggling. 

      Safe hugs. :hug: 

    2. snmls

      snmls

      I'm sorry you are hurting

    3. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you @MeBeMary and @snmls, I just don't know what to do with all the pain sometimes😓

  10. waterlily13

    In a situation where I don't feel heard, and trying to advocate for myself.  I'm feeling anxious and scared but marching ahead anyway, could use some sitters ❤️ (nothing scary, just interpersonal stuff, still hard though, feeling very emotional :( )

    1. Finchy

      Finchy

      Sitting with you and wishing you all the best, waterlily. ❤️ 

    2. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      You are stronger than you know! Keep fighting, friend. 

      Supporting you! :hug: 

  11. waterlily13

    I'm feeling very anxious today and I don't know how to manage it, I just feel like I'm buzzing :(

    1. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      Sending support. Hoping the anxiousness eases soon. :hug: 

    2. Pink Sky

      Pink Sky

      Sitting with you waterlily, hope today is a better day :comfort:

  12. waterlily13

    Meeting with T tomorrow to restart EMDR, I'm feeling anxious and drinking tonight to get the anxiety to calm down....I feel like such a mess, could use sitters :( 

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Not Your Average Princess

      Not Your Average Princess

      I hope your EMDR was productive the other day.  Remember is shows how strong your are to take on this therapy.  Hang in there.

    3. Finchy

      Finchy

      How did it go, waterlily? Sending you support!

    4. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      @mini.finch it went well!  I'm going to post an update!  Thanks so much friend and also @Not Your Average Princess, that means a lot ❤️

  13. waterlily13

    Having a lot of pain in my back and stomach tonight, could use sitters, hoping it passes soon ugh

    1. Finchy

      Finchy

      Oh no. That's awful. :( Sitting with you. I hope you feel better soon. ❤️ 

    2. snmls

      snmls

      I'm sorry. I hope that you are feeling better. 

    3. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you so much friends, feeling better today, so sick of chronic pain ugh

  14. waterlily13

    I am exhausted and I just need a hug💔

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Finchy

      Finchy

      Sending you lots of hugs. ❤️ :hug:

    3. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you so much @MeBeMary @mini.finch @Celia, it helps so much:hug:

    4. snmls

      snmls

      Sending a hug your way. 

  15. waterlily13

    This is exactly where I'm at today, this made me cry, in a good way, when I read it.  I felt like maybe others could relate to it to?  Sending lots of love to everyone

    FB_IMG_1641408423277.jpg.18b9de38f0173d6a14e5f9b5677b422a.jpg

    1. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      Beautiful and so accurate. :throb:  

      Thank you, Waterlily for sharing this. :hug: 

    2. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you friend @MeBeMary:hug: 

  16. waterlily13

    Have T today and I'm anxious, could use sitters, need to talk about some hard things and last time I did I dissociated :(

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you so much @Capulet@MeBeMary, I could feel you guys sitting with me and it helped!!  It went really well, we worked on strategies to help me manage my anxiety and symptoms as we delve deeper into stuff.  I will write more later, I need to talk and process but it just sends my anxiety up so high, I'm sitting with all the emotions, they're hard but it's a good thing, but it's all just so exhausting sometimes.  I haven't really cried about my assault before, which sounds so ridiculous but I just can't seem to let myself feel enough to do it, it's just to much to feel, but I need to and I think I will get there if I keep working at this.

    3. AKB

      AKB

      So glad to hear it went well @waterlily13! Sending you my fave bubble dude. :bubble:

    4. waterlily13

      waterlily13

      Thank you so much @AKB!  I love him!! ❤️ 

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