[Ready to reach out.]

I'm glad I found somewhere where people actually understand how I feel and what I'm going through.

[Ready to reach out.]

I am never one to feel sorry for myself or seek pitty but lately saying nothing is doing more harm. When I was 14 year old I had a man take advantage of me and take my virginity from me. I've had time to deal with that all, and I know it has messed me up in future relationships but I've learned not every guy is a bad guy. I met someone whom I thought was going to be an amazing friend to have in my life for a long time this year. When tried being more than friends for a couple months but realized that wasn't going to work. During that tims I had told him about what happened to me and he was more than understanding on why I am the way I am. A few weeks ago was his last night before moving to another state and I came over to say goodbye and hangout. His girlfriend was not home and his roommate went into the bathroom so we were left alone. He saw that as an opportunity to try to have sex with me. After he came over to me and kissed me, I pulled back and told him no. I said I did not want to have sex with him, and continued to say no three or four more times. I could tell he was become impatient because soon after that he pulled me up to stand and gave me no choice. One of the only people I told about me being raped did the same exact thing to me. I can't seem to find a way to cope and it just keeps getting worse. I don't want to lose my happy personality, but I feel like slipping away for good.

-A