ANA07

I haven't been on in a while, with the holidays and what not, but I'm glad to be on again writing and venting. It was my 21st birthday a few days ago and I was scared to go out and let loose. My friend dragged me out though and I'm glad she did! I can't keep living in fear of what could happen. Not every guy is a bad one, I know that. Sometimes it can just be hard to remember that though when a stranger tries to get you to go home with them. My nightmares stopped for a few days, but they have returned, and so has my inability to sleep. Being sick keeps me up at night, but so do the dreams....

I have finally accepted that I need an outlet to deal with what has happened to me. It wasn't until recently that I realized that staying silent and keeping everything to myself was not going to help me. After having my virginity taken from me, I thought I would know what to do if I was ever placed in that situation again. I let myself become overpowered by shock. It is a helpless feeling and I'm ready to try and move past it. It's been hard to sleep, and when I do manage to sleep I always have horrible nightmares, usually with him showing up, invading the only time I have to escape. I hope th

I'm glad I found somewhere where people actually understand how I feel and what I'm going through.

I am never one to feel sorry for myself or seek pitty but lately saying nothing is doing more harm. When I was 14 year old I had a man take advantage of me and take my virginity from me. I've had time to deal with that all, and I know it has messed me up in future relationships but I've learned not every guy is a bad guy. I met someone whom I thought was going to be an amazing friend to have in my life for a long time this year. When tried being more than friends for a couple months but realized that wasn't going to work. During that tims I had told him about what happened to me and he was mor