EJG

Thank you @dieter. That makes me feel better in a weird way. At least I know I'm not crazy. When that started, the random memories of him, it made me feel so off-balance.

I've never been ashamed. If that isn't usual, it's because I'm unusual. Very strange indeed. But lately, all I feel is shame. Four years later, I feel shame. And I don't know why. Another strange thing is little things remind me of good times prior to all of that nastiness. When we were friends and not dating, teasing each other relentlessly. Or when we first started dating and he and I would listen to music all the time, doing nothing else but listen to music. Just small things like that which pop in my mind and won't go away. I remember the good times with a taint, and I don't want to rememb