Juniperberry1900
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Status Replies posted by Juniperberry1900
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I've been noticing I've been self- isolating (again). ...not sure that's a good thing. I makes me sad and worried I'm slipping (again).
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I give up on everything at this point
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I will remember and recover,
Not forgive and forget
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Wish my mind had a shut off button Ugh.
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I wish I could be of support but I'm no good for anyone like this. I was there for people for years without asking for a thing. Now I need their support and I get silence. IDK what I'm doing anymore...
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I have missed too much being a victim but I am not a survivor. Kinda messed up right now.
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XXL weekend, yeah. ...here’s to hoping it’s uneventful and relaxing!
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Having some bad thoughts about S and feeling like I can't control it all & it's completely madnes.
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Feeling tired, sad and abandoned. Hate feeling this way. My place of work sucks. Some of the work and people do too. I don’t care if I’m complaining. It I should what it is. ☹️
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Healing comes in waves and maybe today the waves hit the rocks. And that's ok thats ok, Darling.
Your still healing, your still healing.
~Ljeoma Umebinyuo, be gentle with yourself~
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I don't know where to go
I don't know what to feel
I don't know what to do
I don't know who I am
I am just that scared sometimes.
~unknown~
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Who the eff am I? Why do I exist?
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Thank you @Kmkz, @patriciag, & @tuliptorn. It seems there is too much coming at me lately, and not enough of it good. I try to focus on the positive and ride through the unpleasant as smoothly as possible. When the unpleasant keeps happening, it sometimes makes me question whether I’m on this earth to be others’ punching bag. I’m taking it easy this weekend for sure.
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My daughter made it to base camp at Mt Everest. It has been a bit crazy. The couple she was doing the climb with took very sick and had to be helicopter out, her husband went with her. That left my daughter to finish the climb on her own with the guide. She is now on her way down from Base camp, it will take a few days to get down. It makes me proud and to know my daughter can do anything she puts her mind to. She is a strong women.
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how do i escape this cesspool i call life?
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Hi LT, I’m sorry to see you’ve been having such a hard time lately. I’m not sure what sort of thing to suggest. I hope it starts to turn around soon though. Safe right armed hug around the shoulders.
Do you find joy in the holidays that are coming up? Is there anywhere you could volunteer some time? It may life spirits and feel good too? ...just N idea.
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Feel Crap and worthless right now
& it's freezing cold but at the same time I want the fresh air.
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Deeply sad. Been seeping in more all weekend. This world is not a safe place.😔
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So I moved to El Paso, TX for a job. I am trying to get to know the community so I found this flyer for a potluck that a House Rep was hosting, she really cared about the community and really wants to help in any way possible. I want to do more to advocate for R/SA and stuff like that. Um I've been crazy busy and don't have data because of the drive across the country, which was amazing! I love the mountains! Sooo much different from Florida! And the people here are very friendly, I felt very comfortable and at home the first day I arrived, it honestly feels like I was meant to be here. I've made a bunch of great connections so I, I don't even know what to say. I love it here and feel so fortunate. I'm kind of struggling with the financial aspect but yolo, its hw you learn right? #adulting yay! This adventure has been really amazing and I feel like things are looking up, I think I made a great choice.
I miss and love you all! So many safe hugs, I'll be back on more often in November! You are all always on my mind!!! SAFE HUGSSSSSSS X A BILLION!!
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The sudden veil of memories descended on me earlier while at my desk. I got freaked out rather bad: had to grab a coworker to go for walk. Now, I’m useless. I’ve T in 1.5 hrs and feel tired. Please tell me I’ll be okay.
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Awh, @Free2Fly, I’m sorry to hear that. I found myself doing that a lost this past spring. I told my doc and she prescribed an anti depressant. Now, it’s rare that I cry, even when I stub my toe. Yesterday the tears came though, it was sooo intense.
Safe huggs to you, Josh
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The sudden veil of memories descended on me earlier while at my desk. I got freaked out rather bad: had to grab a coworker to go for walk. Now, I’m useless. I’ve T in 1.5 hrs and feel tired. Please tell me I’ll be okay.
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Thank you @Free2Fly and @LuthienTinuviel. It dragged on the rest of the day and evening. I was exhausted and in bad headspace all evening. It’s horrible when it’s descends so quickly, so hard and out of nowhere like that. Today, I’m okayer. Currently getting my hair done....hiding the evidence, ya know. Lol
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Happy Thanksgiving fellow Canadians!!!!
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Went to get a snack to eat and was triggered. I was triggered by yogurt. Yogurt.
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I figured it out...I was wondering why I took such a dive when it turned to September. I thought well, it's fall now. That's why. The whole season is full of triggers. Then I remembered last night. The monster's birthday is 9/13. I don't want to remember that but I have for years. I've celebrated many of them with him at school. I've made him BIRTHDAY CAKES. And now on this birthday, he is in prison for raping me, robbing me, kidnapping me, burglarizing me, and taking property after he took all of me. I can't reconcile this. It's sick and twisted, and it makes me cry.
I picked the last of the raspberries in my garden (I know right, October!)
