Jump to content
Registration Issues? Login Issues? Need General Assistance and can't access our onsite Help Desk? Shoot us an email at our email address: moderators@aftersilence.org ×

Juniperberry1900

Member
  • Content Count

    1,127
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Status Replies posted by Juniperberry1900

  1. I've been noticing I've been self- isolating (again). ...not sure that's a good thing. I makes me sad and worried I'm slipping (again). 

  2. I will remember and recover,

    Not forgive and forget

    1. Juniperberry1900

      Juniperberry1900

      I like that! 

      Thanks for sharing this mantra. 

  3. Wish my mind had a shut off button Ugh. 

    1. Juniperberry1900

      Juniperberry1900

      -hands PB a filter for her thoughts- I hope today filters out as many bad thoughts as possible. 

    2. (See 3 other replies to this status update)

  4. I wish I could be of support but I'm no good for anyone like this. I was there for people for years without asking for a thing. Now I need their support and I get silence. IDK what I'm doing anymore... 

  5. I have missed too much being a victim but I am not a survivor. Kinda messed up right now.

    1. Juniperberry1900

      Juniperberry1900

      Sitting with you. I think it’s not a complete one way or the other. You can feel okayish about some aspects and that you’ve survived, while feeling not so great at all about others. Safe huggs, if okay.

    2. (See 2 other replies to this status update)

  6. XXL weekend, yeah. ...here’s to hoping it’s uneventful and relaxing!

    1. Juniperberry1900

      Juniperberry1900

      Thanks, thus far it has been relaxing. 

      Was upsetting taking out the decorations, but I kept going. 

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

  7. Having some bad thoughts about S and feeling like I can't control it all & it's completely madnes.

    1. Juniperberry1900

      Juniperberry1900

      Sorry to hear you’re struggling so. Sitting with you while you work through this.

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

  8. Feeling tired, sad and abandoned. Hate feeling this way. My place of work sucks. Some of the work and people do too. I don’t care if I’m complaining. It I should what it is. ☹️

    1. Juniperberry1900

      Juniperberry1900

      Thank you for your support. It’s a new day, so let’s see what this one brings

    2. (See 5 other replies to this status update)

  9. Healing comes in waves and maybe today the waves hit the rocks. And that's ok thats ok, Darling.

    Your still healing, your still healing.

    ~Ljeoma Umebinyuo, be gentle with yourself~

  10. I don't know where to go

    I don't know what to feel

    I don't know what to do

    I don't know who I am

    I am just that scared sometimes.

    ~unknown~

  11. Who the eff am I? Why do I exist?

    1. Juniperberry1900

      Juniperberry1900

      Thank you @Kmkz, @patriciag, & @tuliptorn. It seems there is too much coming at me lately, and not enough of it good. I try to focus on the positive and ride through the unpleasant as smoothly as possible. When the unpleasant keeps happening, it sometimes makes me question whether I’m on this earth to be others’ punching bag. I’m taking it easy this weekend for sure. 

    2. (See 4 other replies to this status update)

  12. My daughter made it to base camp at Mt Everest.  It has been a bit crazy. The couple she was doing the climb with took very sick and had to be helicopter out, her husband went with her. That left my daughter to finish the climb on her own with the guide.  She is now on her way down from Base camp, it will take a few days to get down.  It makes me proud and to know my daughter can do anything she puts her mind to. She is a strong women.

  13. how do i escape this cesspool i call life?

    1. Juniperberry1900

      Juniperberry1900

      Hi LT, I’m sorry to see you’ve been having such a hard time lately. I’m not sure what sort of thing to suggest. I hope it starts to turn around soon though. Safe right armed hug around the shoulders. 

      Do you find joy in the holidays that are coming up? Is there anywhere you could volunteer some time? It may life spirits and feel good too? ...just N idea.

    2. (See 3 other replies to this status update)

  14. Feel Crap and worthless right now :( & it's freezing cold but at the same time I want the fresh air.

  15. Deeply sad. Been seeping in more all weekend. This world is not a safe place.😔

  16. So I moved to El Paso, TX for a job. I am trying to get to know the community so I found this flyer for a potluck that a House Rep was hosting, she really cared about the community and really wants to help in any way possible. I want to do more to advocate for R/SA and stuff like that. Um I've been crazy busy and don't have data because of the drive across the country, which was amazing! I love the mountains! Sooo much different from Florida! And the people here are very friendly, I felt very comfortable and at home the first day I arrived, it honestly feels like I was meant to be here. I've made a bunch of great connections so I, I don't even know what to say. I love it here and feel so fortunate. I'm kind of struggling with the financial aspect but yolo, its hw you learn right? #adulting yay! This adventure has been really amazing and I feel like things are looking up, I think I made a great choice.

    I miss and love you all! So many safe hugs, I'll be back on more often in November! You are all always on my mind!!! SAFE HUGSSSSSSS X A BILLION!!

  17. The sudden veil of memories descended on me earlier while at my desk. I got freaked out rather bad: had to grab a coworker to go for walk. Now, I’m useless. I’ve T in 1.5 hrs and feel tired. Please tell me I’ll be okay. 

    1. Juniperberry1900

      Juniperberry1900

      Awh, @Free2Fly, I’m sorry to hear that. I found myself doing that a lost this past spring. I told my doc and she prescribed an anti depressant. Now, it’s rare that I cry, even when I stub my toe. Yesterday the tears came though, it was sooo intense. 

      Safe huggs to you, Josh :hug:

    2. (See 5 other replies to this status update)

  18. The sudden veil of memories descended on me earlier while at my desk. I got freaked out rather bad: had to grab a coworker to go for walk. Now, I’m useless. I’ve T in 1.5 hrs and feel tired. Please tell me I’ll be okay. 

    1. Juniperberry1900

      Juniperberry1900

      Thank you @Free2Fly and @LuthienTinuviel. It dragged on the rest of the day and evening. I was exhausted and in bad headspace all evening. It’s horrible when it’s descends so quickly, so hard and out of nowhere like that. Today, I’m okayer. Currently getting my hair done....hiding the evidence, ya know. Lol 

    2. (See 5 other replies to this status update)

  19. Happy Thanksgiving fellow Canadians!!!!

    1. Juniperberry1900

      Juniperberry1900

      Thanks Patricia. I hope you had a lovely day. Today is turkey day for us! :) I picked the last of the raspberries in my garden (I know right, October!) 

    2. (See 3 other replies to this status update)

  20. Went to get a snack to eat and was triggered.  I was triggered by yogurt. Yogurt. :( 

    1. Juniperberry1900

      Juniperberry1900

      I think it's the consistency of it. It makes me gag sometimes.  I'm not sure why and think it's something weird about me, 

    2. (See 2 other replies to this status update)

  21. I figured it out...I was wondering why I took such a dive when it turned to September. I thought well, it's fall now. That's why. The whole season is full of triggers. Then I remembered last night. The monster's birthday is 9/13. I don't want to remember that but I have for years. I've celebrated many of them with him at school. I've made him BIRTHDAY CAKES. And now on this birthday, he is in prison for raping me, robbing me, kidnapping me, burglarizing me, and taking property after he took all of me. I can't reconcile this. It's sick and twisted, and it makes me cry. 

×
×
  • Create New...