yanna

When I was 6 years old my older sister started to molest me, she use to call it "the game", it lasted for about another year or two, at least until she got a new boyfriend, then she no longer "needed me". By the time I was 7, my older cousin who was a female as well also started to molest me, saying everything we did was for fun and that everyone did it. Around that same time, my god sister who was around my age decided she wanted to play the game as well, she had learned it from our uncle. I didn't understand what was going on or that it was wrong. Through out the years, I had other encounter

I went home this weekend. I got there Thursday morning and planned to stay as long as I could; lasted until Saturday afternoon. I hate going home, the first thing I'm asked is why I don't come home as often anymore. What do I even tell them?, "I can't stand being apart of this family" "I leave even more emotionally damaged than when I arrive", I usually just make up excuses of having too many exams to study for, or not being able to get off work. But no matter what i say to them I'm always the bad person who doesn't care about their family. It wasn't even my idea, I was okay going to a school

Sometimes I can go months doing well or at least being able to fake it. But then it randomly gets harder. I feel like i can't breath, I'm suffocating and I don't know what to do. People notice I act differently but no one ever asks. They see the scars but more their eyes past them quickly, pretending as if they never saw. Some of my friends know, but we also don't talk about it, they know why I act the way I do sometimes, but sometimes they forget and don't understand why my mood changes or why I don't like being touched. I'm going home this weekend, no one understands why I never look f