ddogs

I would like to post (a concern) about "topic chats" (as the one for CSA that is starting tonight) in general. Many of us do have work and/or school to attend to during day. For this reason I am now not able to participate in the chat for CSA since the chat is in the middle of the night for me when I am in Europe (even later than in UK), since I have to get up early to school. One suggestion would be that chats like this would be one for America and one for Europe. Then it´s more suitable for everybody that really wants to participate. Next time perhaps! <3

Here I am again! It did took me a really long time to start being here again. I have been empty of some kind. It hit me so hard the fact that my mom has known of the abuse much more than she wants me to believe. And that I always have thought the abuse started at the age of seven now can at least be around 4-5 years old, if not even as a baby. I am devastated. I don´t know what to feel or think. For some reason I want to be able to feel sorry for my dad. On the other hand I am feeling angry at and betrayed my mom. I feel so dirty at the moment. Since it does feel I have been touched all my lif

I have written about this in Gathering Place aswell. I did wanted to get it to my blog since then I have all my writings under one place so to say... Gosh, it was really hard to get this written. I was visiting my parents for a longer weekend (late Friday evening – Thuesday afternoon). I had basically two missions. One was succeedly done. I had planned that I would ask my cousin´s mom how I was as a child. Unfortunately there didn´t come any change for that. Secondly I had planned to go and visit an old friend and her mom. The old friend was just visiting her parents over the weekend, wh

Still I haven´t met the mother. The old friend I didn´t meet. I didn´t thought of that, that she was just visiting her parents over the weekend (while she´s living elsewhere). Today late afternoon I will be visiting the mom. I am afraid and feeling unsure how to feel and think about the visit. I am not sure how much she does remember of our childhood (since she´s having the MS). I think I will just have to wiat and see the situation as it comes.

Today we had my cousin´s parents for coffee. They are not living nearby, they have a cottage were they are now when they are on holiday. I was glad to meet them since I haven´t met them for about two years. I was close to my cousin and her parents when I was a child. My T and I have talked about that I should ask somebody that knew me as a child about how I was as a child. My cousin´s mom is one of them. So I hope I will get another chance to talk to her. Today wasn´t the time.

I just came home from a boat trip. Smiiiile. Though, I am pretty tired so we thought with my friend that we will meet tomorrow. Perhaps I also will take the dogs, so then they also can have some fun with my friends dogs. I am really nervous about the meeting. On the other hand I will just see how it goes.

I am not sure how to explain this... As a child I had problems with ear infections. We were so many times to the local health nurse. Every time I was there as a child (I can´t remember how old I was) the health nurse she was wondering if I had something to tell her. That if there was something else than the ears bothering me. Every time my mom said to me before I went in to the "nurse" that I shuldn´t tell the nurse anything. I can´t imagine that the nurse didn´t think that there wasn´t something I didn´t tell her. The health nurse was also my childhood friend's mother so I could say I lived a

Hmm... I am wondering where I should ask about how I can get different albums.. hmm...

I think I am feeling like this, empty and bubbling at the same time, since I am going to my parents on friday. I will stay there until thuesday. We are going there once a year (or twice if the winter is enough good). More than that I can´t cope with. The ONLY reason I am going there is since there I feel so free when out on the see with a boat. The water itself and the sound (when it comes against cliffs and or the shore) is so soothing. And there I can walk with the dogs in the forrest, my furry babies. I am so empty. Empty of words. At the same time I feel like I am dizzy and have no cl

I am just full of words and text it seems today. I know I shouldn´t be embarressed over to posting, but when posting 4-5 post on a day... And almost after each other. Hmm... Well, I have indeed been thinking of posting these subject for a while and it seems that I am today in a row of doing things I haven´t been able to to do until now. An example of this is the coffee; I have been wondering for this for years. Why the coffee is so importent to drink, when I don´t even like it. I just can´t stand coffee sometimes, and at least not without the milk. Thé I could drink whenever. I feel like

I am wondering if anybody else has experienced that they can´t read properly, it gets blurred, like you should get your eyesight checked out? I have had it now for a while. When I am not tneced or stressed I can read books, websites etc really good. then suddenly it gets blurry and the sentences in a text gets blurred into each other. I have been thinking it´s my eyesight but on the other hand it could be related to that every time this is happening I am reading something importent. Like here at the AS or a book for my studies. Strange I think! I will get my sight checked up in the autumn

Yeah! Finally I choosed what I want... I did it bigbaaang, so I did shop kind of two different. This and this (mixed)! I don´t know... one part of the process is the hunt of the product itself... So what´s next?!! lol I don´t care if it´s sold as a "breast cancer wristband" the one that it´s teal awareness... I know why I bought it. Happy me! Okey, this is what I have written in the Venting section. Though, I want to say a bit more here. At my own page. I know I perhaps overloaded as so many times, when buying them both (or so many). In the end I d

Thanx Annie7! (Hope you´re feeling a bit better today!)

Thanx fallenstar!

Hey sm28! I haven´t gone through a rape (instead incest by dad). I could indeed relate to so much of what you were writing. You are NOT stupid that yhou can´t forget what happened to you. In the most you can get it "boxed up" so to say. Still it´s there somewhere and comes back at least at THE day every year. You are not seeking attention, not at all. Or do you think in your own opinion that you are? I don´t know your story so I can´t say anything about your cousin, I am though sad that you feel taht you can´t see here. Do you meet her often? If you have helped somebody, then you are a GO