FallingSnow

I don't know if you could say this but I am very sorry for your loss and that I am glad you don't suppress it anymore. It hurts in so many ways and it's brave to say it out loud, so brave! I hope your psykiatrist is right, I hope you get something out of being here, most of all, that you are not alone. I'm sitting with you

Its never pleasant to have a burden and it sounds like your secret is worse not sharing than if you told you husband. Even if he draws a line in the sand you'll know that you've told him what you need and it won't be something you'll have to hide from him, even if he won't be amazingly pleased with the idea. You have to be true to yourself and that doesn't mean that you have to tell him. Youdont have to do as your therapist suggests but I do think you should look at the idea and settle with your decision. It's yours to make alone