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behindthesehazeleyes

Member
  • Content Count

    172
  • Joined

  • Last visited

6 Followers

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    USA
  • Interests
    coffee. books. music. nature. God.

Previous Fields

  • MembershipType
    Survivor

Recent Profile Visitors

1,232 profile views
  1. At a low point but first time at one of these points where I have a therapist I really like. I have “my body is a cage” stuck on repeat in my head atm. It’s sickeningly appropriate for how I feel. ***Trigger Warning**** Wanting to crash diet, count cals, keep food journal, look at certain things online. (if you know what I mean, you know..) wanting to feel anything but my feelings...so visualizing self harm a lot. It’s how I cope with not self harming...haven’t in 10+ yrs. my depression is just bad and I want to focus on anything but feelings...while also
  2. Oh wow you’re really talented that’s cool
  3. Read some of your blog 

    *sits with you* if that’s ok

    1. Celia

      Celia

      It's more than okay, I appreciate it. 🙏 And thank you for reading some of my blog 🥺:hug:

  4. I partially read but stopped..because it was hitting home. My dad. It’s a sore spot, lots of anger and resentment there for me. Also raised in a one horse town..once you’re pigeon holed, that’s it. It’s stupid small town drama. They have nothing better to do. Seriously sometimes tv dramas get the “local small town crazies” spot on. part of me is ready to start over in a new state, a new small town, a much nicer one, if those exist. They’ve got to right?
  5. I know you probably hate me but I want you to know that I hope you’re ok

  6. Hiya I just wanted you to know I haven’t forgotten you and that I’m thinking of you. Sorry I haven’t been the most supportive friend. Hope you’re doing ok, love. -L

    1. Enigma87

      Enigma87

      @behindthesehazeleyes Oh friend, please don’t worry! I’m not thinking badly about you at all. I’m so glad to hear from you! I’m hanging in there. I hope you are okay! Feel free to PM me if you want ❤️❤️❤️

  7. Hey there girl, I’m back online and wanted to say hi. I hope you’re doing well.

    1. Enigma87

      Enigma87

      Hey girl! @behindthesehazeleyes I’m so glad to hear from you ❤️ I’ve been okay. Hanging in there as best as I can. I’ll definitely PM you.

  8. Nice to meet you. Theres lots of great support here.
  9. Let me just say...that I also relate so much to this. I couldve been typing most of this myself. Though I won't always admit these things...many are true for me as well...idk why the self hate thing with not brushing teeth or any self care. It is ALWAYS a struggle for me.
  10. I understand this. There's actually this book called boundaries that my therapist suggested that i am reading now. The hard truth is...if you want them to stop, you're gonna have to plainly tell them...sometimes more than once. It sounds like whatever happened it didn't affect them the way it did you. You need to make sure they knownthat and that they respect that you need them to not talk about it....or at least not talk about details anymore.
  11. behindthesehazeleyes

    ...

    Im sorry hun...but i understand. Do you have someone to talk to? Its easy to get caught up and then all of a sudden youre smaller or sicker than you thought. Here if you wanna talk
  12. I have been drinking so maybe i can sleep...my si urges wont do away...i contacted an ex which was stupid...yet again. Im hoping my T will be able to start weekly therapy. I think if i dont get a handle on this i will never get proper sleep...and im sure hed say drinking so i can sleep is not healthy
  13. Welcome to the forum. I’m sorry you were in bad relationships for so long. I’m glad you are out of them. Good for you on taking that step. It isn’t easy by any means. *safe hugs*
  14. *waves* nice to meet you! You’re English is really good for it not being your first language
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