[This Is My Effort To Really Try And Change Things]

Hello Parapluie, welcome to this group. It will make you realize you are not alone. I hope you also realize that the abuse was not your fault. It was not your fault.

Healing is a journey and takes time. Healing is possible. Go at your own pace. This is a good group. There is also a lot of information on the internet and public libraries that could be helpful to read.

How is your support system? Do you have family members and/or friends who are supportive?

It is normal to feel the way you are feeling at present. Many survivors talk about the impact on sexual violence on intimacy, trust and relationships. In a way, you are trying to protect yourself.

How are you coping? What is helping?

There is a book called "The Sexual Healing Journey" by Wendy Maltz. It is very good. There is another one called "The Courage to Heal" by Laura Davis and Ellen Bass. You can check them out.

You are being very courageous sharing with us.

Take care and don't forget to do the things you like and give meaning to your life. You deserve a god life.

May you find healing

I've been away for a while because life has been keeping me very busy but I had to come back to take you Minerba for your suggested reading. I have since started therapy and was lent The Courage to Heal by one of my therapists and have been reading it every night before going to bed. I'm struggling to keep myself together and present when I'm in school and around my peers but I knew going into this that it wasn't going to be an easy journey, but I try to be optimistic.

And I also want to thank those who have posted since my last post and shared your stories. It pains me greatly to know that you guys also share my struggle but gives me a bit of relief to know that I am not alone. I hope we can heal together!

[This Is My Effort To Really Try And Change Things]

You all are so amazing that I am crying now as I write this! I've been here only a few days and I've received more input and support here than I have in the past decade, which really is my fault because I don't really talk to anyone about what happened other than one friend who is on the same boat too and I can see she is really, really struggling with her issues too. We just hold each other and cry really.

Minerba: I guess my "coping" is to completely avoid situations where they could lead to something more intimate, this includes isolating myself from friends especially when I find out they are starting to like me. A looooong while back when I had my first kiss I was taken by surprise because we were just talking and the next thing I know he's on top of me trying to make out with me and I burst into inconsolable tears and dreamt later that night he was trying to r*pe me. Since then I haven't really allowed anyone else to get that close again.

And thank you for the recommended reading! I will definitely look into those books as soon as I have finished reading A Game of Thrones

Big hugs to everyone and in their healing journey! Thank you all for sharing and your input and helping realize I am not alone. I hope we can all heal together

[This Is My Effort To Really Try And Change Things]

Thank you all for your warm welcomes!

[This Is My Effort To Really Try And Change Things]

Hi everyone!

I'm not sure where to start. Even behind the anonymity of my computer screen I'm still finding it difficult to try and get my story out. I am a 24 year old female. The events which seemed to have robbed me of a "normal" (what is normal anyway?) life took place over a decade ago but still reverberate with me as strongly as the did back then. Because of what happened to me I have intimacy issues (among other things) and therefore have not been in a relationship because I tend to push everyone away anytime they get too close even though I so desperately want to be able to connect with someone physically and emotionally. So I'm hoping this community will be a start to my path of healing. I know it's long overdue. I'm trying to muster up the courage to seek professional help. I'm at the point where I am so tired of the weight on my shoulders. I'm tired of people asking me about past relationships and me scrambling to find an answer where I don't have to give them a true explanation. I'm tired of people thinking I'm too stuck up or shallow to go out with a guy or thinking I swing the other direction or whatever assumptions they make up for why a good-looking, and intellectual girl with many likable qualities (I feel weird writing that out like I'm tooting my own horn but I'm just reiterating what others say) such as I have not had a boyfriend. Anyways enough about me, I'm excited to get to know everyone here